the life of amanda s.

2008-09-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

REMEMBER
i CHANGED URL
say after me," AMANDA CHANGED HER URL"
okay,thats better
anyway. it is WWW.CITYSCAPESANDNEONSKIES.BLOGSPOT.COM
YOU MUSTEST RELINK ME.

2008-08-27T01:03:00.000-07:00

hey guys..finally blogging
today in a fairly good moood.
yay!going to watch persepolis today on youtube when i get back
ah well
i have a new url
but havent posted
will let you guys know when i start on it
give me sometime kay? like 5 days?
okay anyway it is:
www.cityscapesandneonskies.blogspot.com
so you people go read there from 5-6 days onward okay
and maybe later if i procrestinate.haha.

today was okay in school
was kinda dreading something but it turned out better than fine.
me and paige before dep were talking about ourselves hating to be dao-ed
yea.it kinda sucks when people dao you,i mean.
paige is daoing someone and someone is daoing me.
isnt life just a wonderful vicious cycle?
ah shuddup.heh. sets and probability is like FINALLY making some sense to my head
oh well.have been having a weakness for the wonderous snacks in my kitchen
have been snacking ALOTTTT so yea.id better watch it.what can i do right?
okay so YAY today no interact.gosh.
its so funny that it is actually a joy.
ah well. a happier post.thank gosh for good-er days.
cya

2008-08-24T23:42:00.000-07:00

those are deleted.
trying to change the handwritting which somehow looks the same as yours
trying to undo the wrongs and do some rights.
trying to get through the year without appearing like a total screw up
a screw up dying to copy you all the time.
you say others think that way too.so maybe it is true
one thing i know is that no one wants to appear stupid.intentionally
maybe some idiots from far far away think that its cute.but well i dont
i am glad for the smses.trashing all those things out.
though it isnt like when we were young, just a sorry would undo everything
i dont expect it to. i never said that you are making life hard for me.
more like life makes things harder.
lifes a bitch remember?if it were a slut it would be much easier, i swear.
some people may still say stuff. but at least one thing is out of the way
like you said, the writing was all that you mind about.<>
so like i said, i already removed those stuff.>
i dont want to be you. you're okay but i figured a long time ago that i cant be anyone else even if i wanted to
i dont feel sorry, for myself
i cant do much.
still trying to get out of the shit hole so world, wish me luck.
just read your thing on your blog.
dont want to fight it anymore if thats the way you think of me.
oh well.
tell by your tone
ive taken it too far again

hey guys. yea some issues but its all gonna be done.soon.at least aft the end of this year.
went for sot 2008 graduation yesterday
congrats Chloe, Adora and Candice(:
had new math tuition and ptl its great.haha my teacher is YOUNG, an accountant, smartass that doesnt need to go half way round the world to get the point across.
so great!
got back cheena did suprisingly GOOD.it shocked me, like shit. 77/100.
got 13/20 for cheena oral.heehee.
the End Of Years are coming soon.crap.shit.
24th Sep- 7th Oct 2008
relieved with the decision i made.
that just taught me to think alittle harder than i needed to
most likely going to change my BLOG.
yay.after such a long time.after so much laziness.
will go change and post the url up here when a appropriate one comes to my head.

2008-08-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

YAY.just finished learning how to play Thunder by Boys Like Girls on my guitar.
coolness.heh.
and am suddenly motivated to start a youtube acc.
just viewed some and they were really good, doing covers of songs and stuff.
well,maybe.after all the exam stuff.i might try.
heh.trying to pick up more songs.so that would be pretty cool.
wish me and my guitar some luck after you read this.
hee.cya
and isa, after toying around with the song and the guitar, i am smiling.

2008-08-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

RUNNING AWAY WOULD SERIOUSLY MAKE THINGS ALOT WORST than it already is.

sorry for making you guys"worried"(ERMS) about me.
just stuff.
in my heart i guess it isnt the people that get me down in spirits.
but it is this thing that i have been trying to run away from.
i dont have any specific legitimate reasons or excuses as to why i cant do certain things.
its just me.
i dont know why i cant help myself.
its only natural that i run from something i dont want to see.
something i dont want to do.
but i am not supposed to do stuff like that;behave in this way.
guess all the self-confidence just flew out of the window.
just waiting for it to take a trip round the world and come smashing in my face.
well at least i found something that is SUPER FREAKING THERAPUTIC.
haha,its singing.
nothing new,but simply yea,i have all the time.
as for drama, i will see.
i like it alot
i dont want to be a quiter or a coward
i know my actions are trying to steer me toward that.
but well.i wouldnt let that happen.

thanks guys for all the tags and love.and hugs.
for listening and allowing me to do what i love most when i am down and dont want to say a thing.
den,thanks for thee compliment aft library duty.
it did help,abit.

2008-08-20T18:30:00.000-07:00

THURSDAY.FREE PERIOD.
what can i say.hmmmmm.
okay that shows how interesting my life actually is.
i am dreading tmr.
cant wait for this freaking term 3 and term4 to end.
seriously next year i will try to get my ass out of the way.if its possible,that is.
i dont know what to do,being thrown around like a basketball,sometimes infinitely on high and other times scarily upset and frustrated.
i want to stop the fretting.
i want all this bullshit to just stop.
but do i have control?over me,of course.
but on everything and everyone else, i am not too sure,though it is likely that i unfortunately don't
i dont know whats gonna happen after this year cuz 1stly, i dont think i want to go for drama next year(dep class) but if not,i dont want to go for core lit and be just another mediocre student.
oh god do you hear me?i am just CONFUSED.
i feel dread for tmr,didn't i just say that already?
nevermind about those silly emotions.
i just need a good distraction.
i dont want to go for drama and feel that way again.

2008-08-19T21:12:00.000-07:00

IT DOESNT WORK THAT WAY,HONEY
thats what my dad just told me.
random.yea.
just looking for something un-serious to laugh about.
that seems to be quite hard.
anyway.not in school today.couldnt drag myself out of bed was very very tired.so my parents saw that it was seriously genuine cuz i couldnt open my eyes(do note my parents are super-against pon-ing school)so i am at home today.
yay.so seeya tmr?will blog again later.

2008-08-19T02:02:00.000-07:00

well well.what can i say about tuesday?
quite annoying frankly. i was like grrrrrr for the whole day.
math sup was retarded.thats the truth.
oh and i read a piece of advice on someone's blog.i dont know if its for me but i do find it rather useful.
Here's a little advice: Don't try continuing what you know you can't.
because we know you can't, give it up.
You will never be where we are, and i'm glad you know-
that you're not so liked afterall.
i intended on crediting it but if i am yea,misintepreting it,it would be kinda bad,so well.
just useful stuff.will tell the blogger myself.
so thats it?
you mean just give it up cuz it seems that i am never going to be good enough?you actually think that i am forcing myself to do something that i know its impossible for me to do well in? well kudos to you that you are THERE already.i am definitely NOT there so obviously i am kinda trying to figure things out.
i mean,ok,fine.yes you are alot better(if you meant to write that to me) at alot of stuff than i am and i don't exactly compare that way.
i mean..yea it started to get to me.but well i am glad to know finally that alot of my instincts were kinda right-i wasn't that liked after all.
well,what can i say.you and i are like.....different.
didnt expect myself to be a hot favourite in your books.
if this is any comfort to you,i am putting drama as second choice.
i dont want to be in the same class with people i am miserable being around with cuz of our differences.
i guess i just made someone happy?relieved?
i expect i just did.
i know this is frankly non of my business.
but anyway,
GOODDAY

2008-08-16T08:56:00.000-07:00

today was an okay saturday i guess.
lunched and marina squared with ZING.damn it was fun.
we had a very very long lunch heart to heart talk
seriously we were dishing everything on the table and talking about it.
was great company luh(:
thanks girl!you seriously reminded me that good quirky and NICE and downright just-like-me seniors arent dinos and they are still kicking and screaming.
love you!remember the next time would be aft fyes and we will go SHOP!
haha.dress shopping remember?
you sent me this sms that was so cute!
ZING: Yeah i mentioned shopping! Haha. How can we forget. We'll hunt for bargains and deals that make us squeal and be satisfied with like two creepy aunties.Heh.

okay well:)i promise i will upload our pics when the thing is you-know in order.
the com uploader is kinda screwed so i needa use my dads com another time.
hee.the drama was kinda a let down.
though i dont know if my standard is higher than those that i saw.i seriously you know,kinda doubt myself.
but well,it wasnt exactly worth $8.80 but anyway, i like watching plays and stuff.so well.
went home with yea ZING again.was squashed like an orange in the train.seriously i mean it was JAM packed.i even wondered aloud if it was the last day that the mrt was in operation.
haha,thanks for such a day world.

i dont know why inferiority keeps trying to eat me up like a monster.
i tame it each time when i do well,exceeding my expectation
but when i can't do as well as i want to or when i am with people that i am better i just cant break out of the shell.
i dont know why i just feel that those who are better than me just dont like me.
i really cant fit in.at least thats how some people make me feel.
i dont know how i am supposed to take drama next year when i can't seem to deal with this.
its not as if i am like trying so hard to please them or be like them
i guess thats what is it.i am not like them.
if thats the thing then,i dont know what to say.
seriously i heard countless of times that oh"amanda you can do it" and stuff.
i mean motivation isnt really moving my heart anytime soon.
i am just sick.inferiority makes me sick
i dont know why but i feel left out among them.
i feel that i am trying-to-enjoy-myself-yet-i-dont-feel-that-i-am-wanted-in-there.
and thanks alot for making me feel that way.
it happened alot of times to me.but i am in no way exactly ostracised.
i dont feel sorry for myself but i know i need to deal with this sooner or later.
i feel left out.and that sucks.i like drama,sure.
but everytime i look at the class i cant help but feeling that i am not good enough.
i am not supposed to think this way.it is hard to drown unbelieving thoughts.but what can i say.
i just wish that this would just stop.stop.
i try to be nice.and well,do what i have to do and try to drown all the inferior stuff i have in my head.
maybe i appear screwed up at times becoz of that?
is it something about me that you dont like?seriously i dont know why,is it your talent that intimidates me?
i dont just feel this toward one person but quite afew.
i am kinda sure that it is becos i am not as good thats why some people just dont like me.
i dont feel the closeness that i would like.
just stop it.i know i am not as talented.
i know that you dont exactly like me much,which kinda puzzles me.why?
i cant remember making you dislike me.at least i cant remember.
its not as if i am ranting about my pathetic social life but frankly it bothers me.not my social life,i mean but how i feel during drama.
well i cant live seeking to please you so it would ease the inferiority, that people better than me actually do accept me.
well i had thoughts like this,like to just give up all this.
and just go somewhere where i feel that i am good enough.
maybe this is trying to test how much i want to hold on to what i want,what i love.
will something like this stand in the way between me and one of my passions?
well i dont know but i know God does.
i dont want answers,reasons or excuses from anybody.
or anyone telling me stuff that"i totally understand how you feel"
i dont exactly believe in that either.
all i can say,is that i am sick of this and this needs to stop.

okay well i have just typed my heart here.
well.shocking?not really but frankly i dont want to talk about it.
it is natural not wanting to talk about stuff that are like a scap of a healing wound.
the thing is that i am just praying to God that the wound would somehow heal and i can just get back stronger.
one thing i must say is that i am not a super likable person.
maybe sometimes i do unintentionally turn people off.
but well i cant live trying to please all the time.as much as i like friendships and yea to be accepted, i cant please everyone.
and i shall just leave it here as that.

2008-08-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

Message from your heart-Kina grannis

Don't break me, I bruise easily
The source of both your love and misery

I am steady, beating endlessly
While you are dozing, dreaming pretty things
Lovely things

I don't work for free
Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Don't hurt me, I bleed constantly
My efforts leave me but flow back swiftly

My rhythm, soothing, like raindrops steady
On foggy windows when you gaze outwardly
Peacefully

I don't work for free
Please take care of me
Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Everytime you sleep
Everytime you eat
Everytime you laugh
Everytime you cry
Every time you love

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

awesome awesome song.seriously.

2008-08-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

I finally feel smart after a long time.
haha.
got back dep yesterday and really God exceeded all my expectations cuz i thought i really screwed it up but when i got it back,suprise suprise.25 OVER 30!!
okay luh i dont mean to boast,but yea i am really happyyy.
today going for drama with our dep class at the art house.and before that, meeting ZING:)
yay-ness.
saw avril's concert advertisment on teevee.
just want to go so bad.
hope my parents arent pissed at me for too long.yesterday was kinda umms.
a convo between me and jan tan in 168 bus.

jan:okay,fine.you name me one guy you like
me:oh haha,ryan caberra?(aft i named all my faves.you know.)
jan:oh i like him too...wait a minute.i cant even remember how he looks like.
me:lols
jan:(hysterical laughter)
me:haha why you like that guy?(most of us from cg knows her fave.and it doesnt start with J)
jan:he's so cute.like cute cute.you know when he talks to his friends he's so friendly and all
me:(raises eyebrows) uh.how do you know.i mean you guys are so freaking far away..you know like FAR AWAY.
Jan:(tells me story about funeral thing.)
me:ohmygeesh.thought you went to stalk him.was about to tell sha to disciple you uh.heh.
jan:all my bros say the guys i like are not cute lor.
me:TOTALLY.tell eugene and kenneth high five.
i mean first, J J lin.okay luh but too schoolboy-ish.then George clooney which is like old enough to be your dad?
eh you know uh that time george clooney's girlfriend said that she loves going for movies with him cuz its cheaper cuz he pays for the senior citizen ticket.
jan:HAHA>SO BAD
me: and that guy he is not good looking at ALL.seriously. okay he has alot alot of INNER beauty.not really on thee outside.
i think your friends are right luh.your guys always are MARRIED and above 30, except for J J which will forever be the exception lor.

2008-08-14T06:47:00.000-07:00

oh i have yet to tell you about our new ahem..MATH SUBSTITUTE teacher.
darn he's so strange.hehe.
will write LATER.heh

2008-08-14T06:35:00.000-07:00

today was kind of alot better than yea shittywednesday
had science and watched the video about um..the-time-of-the-month thing.so yea,alot of us were like..OKAY.
haha.
got back geog..not so bad but i was darn stupid sia.the first question..the give question..i got 0. then the rest got correct except for 2 other marks gone.
STUPID.if i got the 4 marks one correct would have gotten 18..but nevertheless,was relieved cuz overall have an A.LOVE it.
have a guitar CA in term 4 week 1.playing Perfect.and yea i have developed a sudden spaz for guitar AFTER karen was acting up after too much guitar adrenalin.so i am kinda anti climax.liking the thing and wanting to play it soso much aft everyone stopped..at least for today!
haha.
i am playing a business-woman like character for the teachers day thing.
thats pretty much who i was in the beginning of this year so i hope it goes well
treeza's one in my opinion is cute luh.she's the deprived rockstar!
heh..i am thinking of changing my blog.like you know creating a new one.still thinking..not confirmed yet.hee.cya

2008-08-13T18:53:00.000-07:00

what other words, we ma almost ask, are memorable and worthy to be

repeated than those which love has inspired? It is wonderful that they were ever uttered.

They are few and rare indeed, but like a strain of music,they are incessantly repeated and modulated by memory.

All other words crumble off with the stucco which overlies the heart. We should not dare to repeat these now aloud.

we are not competent to heart them at all times.

-Henry David Thoreau

'A week on the concord and Merrimack Rivers' 1849

2008-08-13T18:47:00.000-07:00

yesterday was wednesday

wednesdays are sad stupid effed up dissapointing pissing days at least,yesterday

yesterday i got pissed,nearly had an anxiety attack cuz i was very mad

yesterday my dad had good news that he got a post that he wanted

yesterday my dad also told me that he can't come for our holiday to LA and Ohio

yesterday my dad again told me that my grandma would be coming with me

GAH.WHY IS IT SO ANNOYING ON WEDNESDAY

was looking forward to the hol but now its like,shitted.

yesterday.

screw yesterday

2008-08-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

pictures from walk with isa and cloud.

isnt cloud just soooo CUTE.

went to isa's house after that.thanks girl for the time together.

2008-08-11T00:23:00.000-07:00

1. What's your name spelt backwards?
adnama elkraps
2. Favorite cities to visit:
Los Angeles, Gold Coast,KL,Paris,Millan,Manhattan:)Caines

3. Famous people you've met:
The Click Five, Belinda Lee, Tan Kheng Hua, Shan Wee, Rozz, Parachute Band, sidney moehede,darlene zschech(hilsong),gurmit singh..yadayada.cant remember.
4. Secret indulgence:
singing and writing lyrics.oh pigging out as i blog.

5. When you are all alone, you like to:
sing.blast the music.watch lame shoes or read gossip mags

6. You are famous for your:
being ME:)and amongst some of my friends,baking and letters

7. Two words your friends would describe you with:
quirky and outgoing

8. Favorite book:
where rainbows end, the tenth circle, nineteen minutes, and more i cant remember
9. Favorite restaurant/s:
miss clarity,waraku,big eater,changing appetites,pasta mania

10. Famous people you'd like to meet:
chris brown,avril lavigne,jean danker,felicia chin,chace crawford, marg helengburg(CSI) heath ledger,delirious, switchfoot,livehouse..LOTS.

11. Alcoholic beverage:
i dont drink.

12. Non-alcoholic beverage:
milk tea,green tea,latte..lots

13. Dream vacation:
crazy fun in somewhere city-ish. with lots of places to shop at,to eat and just, yea crazy fun.
14. Bad habit:
pigging when i am stressed

15. Family member you get along the best with:
mum and dad?

16. Do you believe you have a guardian angel:
yes.they are my friends.

17. What did you do last night?:
went for NEWCOMERS dinner and watched tv when i came home

18. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?:
haha,can't remember man

20. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?:
no!

21. Last time you swam in a pool?:
woah.i think 2 months ago

22. What are you wearing?:
my emerge tee and grey cigarette skinnies

23. How many cars have you owned?:
none of the real ones, but i want to (:

24. Type of music you dislike most?:
rap,overly heavy metal.

25. Are you registered to vote?:
um, i dont think so

26. Do you have cable?:
YES :D

27. What kind of computer do you use?:
dell and sotec.sotec is mine,dell is dad's.

28. Ever made a prank phone call?:
yes.it was awesome.

29. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?:
bungee jumping/

30. Furthest place you ever traveled?:
usa-philidelphia,chicago,florida,new york.
austrailia-sydney and gold coast

31. Do you know all the words to the national anthem?:
yes.ahem i am singaporean

32. Shower- morning or night?:
night.

33. Best movie you've seen in the past month?:
the dark knight HANDSDOWN.

34. Favorite pizza toppings?:
HAM and pineapple

35. Chips or popcorn?:
chips

36. What cell phone provider do you have?:
starhub

37. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?:
uh,nope/
38. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?:
nope.a talent one yea,kinda

39. Orange Juice or apple?:
apple:)

40. Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?:
my cellgroup

42. Favorite chocolate bar?:
hersheys,cadbury..

43. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?:
oh today for lunch.had this fish noodle soup thing that had a tomato in it.

45. Have you ever won a trophy?:
no sadly.im not the sports kind.

46. Favorite arcade game?:
guitar hero,drums,bishi bashi champ

47. Ever ordered from an infomercial?:
nope

48. Sprite or 7-UP?:
i dont like gasy drinks

49. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?:
yea,everyday to school

50. Last thing you bought at Walgreens?:
what?

51. Ever thrown up in public?:
yes,unfortunately

52. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?:
TRUE LOVE

53. Do you believe in love at first sight?:
um not really.

54. SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?:
SPONGEBOB

55. Did you have long hair as a young kid?:
YES

56. What message is on your voicemail machine?:
you have reached ********, please leave your message after the tone.

57. Where would you like to go right now?:
LA.

58. Whats the name of your pet?:
jayjay,pinkie,violet,sparkle,sugar,silver who all passed away peacefully.

59. What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?:
one has my school stuff another has my tuition stuff.

60.What do you think about most?:
um.alot of stuff.i am complex

HAVE YOU EVER?

Stayed up all night long?:
yes.until 5am

Slept all day?:
nope woke up 2.50pm latest

Played a trick on someone?:
YES.its fun,sadly.

Told a joke that NO ONE thought was funny?:
yes,intentionally if it was meant to be lame and unintentionally when i thought it was funny and no one laughed.sad.

Hurt someone's feelings?:
yes.

Been told that you are pretty more than 10 times?:
yes

Been in love?:
yes

Told someone that you love them?:
yes

Told someone that you miss them?:
yes

Been told that someone loves/misses you?:
yes:)

Broken someone's heart?:
yes

Had someone break your heart?:
yes

Broken up with someone for no reason?:
nope i dont have any bfs or exs/

Told someone that you hated them?:
no are you kidding me

Ate everything in the house?:
unfortunately, yes

Stayed in bed all day because you didnt wana get up?:
yes,kinda until the afternoon

Lost a friend over something stupid?:
yes

Gone shopping in the middle of the night?:
haha yea. at 12am my parents and i went to orchard

hilsong's new album really touched me.
you should seriously catch this if you didnt get the album.
tracks featured:this is our God,desert song, stronger,lord of lords(love her accent)

amanda sparkle

2008-08-11T00:10:00.000-07:00

love this song and the amazing vid

melee-build to last

heard it and watched it a million times but i still heart this song ALOT.

hee.watch it!

seriously it makes you feel uber in love though you dont have anyone to be in love with.

its not cheesy,swear.

crossbonez,manda

2008-08-10T23:01:00.000-07:00

NEWCOMERS DINNER

was good:)the food yea was good.heeh.it was fun and yea took quite ALOT of pictures,oops. but not only me in the pic la.haha.

met pst tan(pic included),saw pst kong and pst derek(very very up close) and oh Belinda Lee(pict as well) :) and yes she is pretty in person.

and jan, pst tan is very very tall in person.took a pic with him and yea he is nearly 2 heads taller than me.

mingyao and marline(do i spell it this way?):eh amanda how come you attending new comer's dinner

me:uh..(explained my long story about attending cic 2 years aft i joined chc and even aft i finished gs and started on cl.)

marline:you miss shalynne alot right?

me:YES.

marline:haha.

today is a holiday.

YAY singapore.love you for the holiday.okay luh,im not so bad..I love you too.hee.

went for science tuition just now and wow was learning about the reproduction system

heh i know i am no longer a kid and i dont have a valid licence to "eww" at the stuff and i should be mature after being empowered with knowledge(including the stuff i saw on tv and in the movies)but when i saw the illustrations of the stuff-i-shall-not-mention i couldnt help myself and i was very squirmish,in my heart at least.

going to walk with cloud and isa later.can't wait:)

and i dont know whats wrong with the BLOGGER UPLOADER.seriously its the smartest.
have been waiting for more than 20 mins and it is taking a long time.
wow.
i am tryingggg to use the facebook uploader and kope the thing from there.

~~stupid blogger man. i think its becuz my photo files are kinda huge..as in larger than 2GB so thats why.grrs.hee~~
finally uploaded the pics during free period today

please credit if you grab them..thanks

2008-08-08T21:49:00.000-07:00

Perfect- Simple Plan

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to the plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I
wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just wanna make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just wanna make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing is alright

'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

the first time i heard the chorus i teared cuz it is so true

this song is sad.going to play it for my parents some time soon

i used to think that if i were perfect,everyone would love me,find no fault with me and every conversation would be a good,happy one. without the need for any of them ending in tears.

and in turn, i would be a very happy person cuz there could be nothing for me to be unhappy about cuz everyone was cool with me.

but i learnt that that day would never come.and the more i try to be something i am sadly not,would just drive me up the wall and down again.

2008-08-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

OH.i just remembered.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYY SINGAPORE.heh.

anyway..slacking for a whilee.having math tuition at 1.35pm.

geez.

red and white eh:)

today wont be doing much but tmr will be GOOD

chc @ jw 12.30pm and 5pm dinner with pst kong:)

okay so i shall go know yea:)

this pic has totally NOTHING to do with the national day wishes but yea,i like the polka dotted hoodie in it.lol.

okay cya

2008-08-08T19:57:00.000-07:00

my second collage.improvement?
i find it messy.sheeeeeeeeeeeeeet.heh

2008-08-08T10:04:00.000-07:00

this is my first collage on polyvore.com
will churn out more when i can.
heehee.rate it if you want to

2008-08-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

polyvore.com rocks,big time.
here is one i really like.
liked the colors man.its nice
working on my own one but yea its kinda MESSED UP.
so yea.its kinda bad but yea,will put it up here soon

2008-08-07T21:37:00.000-07:00

treeza thanks for coming to my rescue two days in a row

yesterday was a really effed up day.sorry for my french but thats the truth.

i cant gloss it over and say"oh nothing is wrong"

i sent treeza a sms like: TREEZA i am in a funk.feeling damn moody.please call me if you can.thanks.

and yea she called me in the middle of cheena tuition and i ran out of the class bawling my eyes out.

treeza thanks so much for being there.after being pangseh-ed the whole day by idiots.

felt damn lonely.

was in the bus with isa when i got a call that got me very very pissed that made my whole face red.

then i met karen and she was trying to make me smile but i ended up crying.

then i called 4 idiots whose names i shant mention.

they didnt freaking care or even offer to listen.made things alot worst.

then called one of my bestfriends and she was like "sorry i am at work,call you later".and you know what,that call never came.

called fels and her phone died.

so yea was upset.lonely.angry at myself for trying to depend on idiots that dont deserve anything.

then i sent treeza that message when i reached early for tuition.i half told myself that i cant get any hopes up cuz she might just forget my message.

but treeza,

you really were there when i needed YOU.thanks for listening to my cry.or just the sound of my tensed breathing.

you kept saying it was okay when i was crying and crying and apologising for wasting your time.

i really dint think you would give a damn about a lonely sobbing idiot,but you just stuck there,listening. telling me that hey its good to let it out.

really appreciated your company over the phone.really cant thank you enough.i just really love you!thanks thanks.

thanks for the hug today.i really needed that.this few days have beeen very sad and moody for like NO reason.okay maybe there are reasons but nevermind about them

thanks to isa and karen who wouldnt give up on me.though isa i told you i was okay,you kept going at it and i felt so vulnerable crying(yet again) in the train with you.karen thanks for the sweet message.

i did smile alittle after reading it.

thanks guys.this really showed me that some of my friends cant exactly council for shit.they cant give any love but i must say you feel really good when you give them yours.

im sorry thats the crude truth. and if you are reading and you are wondering why i didnt ring you,im sorry.

too many things were on my mind.couldnt think of you guys.

on a good note,yesterday got silver for napfa.love myself.thats yea,the only thing that made me smile,until you made everything bleh again with your call.

this few days not so good.i need to get PLUGGED In to God.

2008-08-06T19:16:00.001-07:00

do you know where your heart is?
i used to wonder if it were trapped in a volt,and my actions like keypads trying to unlock it each time. sometimes people ask"where is your heart" when they want to know what you are thinking or when they feel you are damn heartless.or when they want to know who or what has your loyalty and allegience. well i am asking myself that question.
i hear the lyrics go"cuz the heart never lies" well does it tell the truth?
well for one thing,it is dangerous,if you know what i mean.
now i am wondering.yes,where my heart has gone.
i miss the old happy me.

2008-08-06T18:44:00.001-07:00

spotlights shining brightly,on my face

i can't see a thing and yet i feel you walking my way

empty stage,with nothing but this girl

singing this simple melody and wearing her heart on her sleeve

and right now

i have you,for a moment i can tell ive got you

cuz your lips don't move,something is happening

cuz your eyes tell me the truth

i've put a spell over you

2008-08-06T18:22:00.001-07:00

hello world

get ready for an avril invasion

serious karen is spazzing over avril like how my aunt used to spazz over that korean actor

shes screaming softly,breathing very intensely

and yes warmed me up to the THEME.

she made me imagine that chace crawford(my hot...um.yea..thing)came to singapore and i could meet him at the airport,hold his hand,take a picture and hold a convo with him

will scream OH MY FRICKING GOSH if that happens..frankly.haha

and yes i cried cuz i can totally imagine it

GAH..the cheeezyness.

okay..now i officially WANT TO GO FOR AVRILS CONCERT

but God,do you mind me asking you..HOW DO I GET THE CASHH

I NEED IT.but dont worry if i dont get there in time i wont cry like karen would.

hehe.

but yea la..hate to admit it but i WANT TO GO really.

GAH.tickets.can i have sponsers?anyone?

email me at snowflakesandflowers@hotmailcom

thanks guys!g'day.waiting for my tickets.cya

2008-08-06T04:01:00.000-07:00

the kimbo-weisze-amanda-bus trauma drama

kimbo:oi we at VS eh
me:yea.oh yea ws,ryan and samuel from there right?haha,i still can't figure out how you can like both of them at the same time
kimbo:(laughs like a crazy..thing)
ws:(turns red)NOO.thats not true la!!!!!i don't like samuel.serious
me:wow yea like i believe youu!heard you want to go see him on msn uh
kimbo:(mouths"yea she does like him")
ws:(pinches kimbo)OI!!amandaaa....
me:hahahahaha.oh kimbo love that anal aunty from FOP man
the best.(mimicked her)
kimbo and ws laugh

haha was in the bus with two of them.
yes laughed our heads off for alot alot of times
cant remember
but this is one of the many occurences
hahah.
okay well.
drama was cool today
got our CA plays for the theory test next week
coolness.its freaky cool. wonder what essay questions they would ask
the mediacorp internship people replied gotta send resume SOON.
GOD HELP ME IIMPRESS THEM.
haha.
okay bubye random

2008-08-05T04:14:00.001-07:00

this is home//switchfoot

great song,swear

2008-08-05T04:10:00.000-07:00

from where you are by lifehouse.

great stuff:)love it

2008-08-05T03:16:00.000-07:00

Last night I fell in love with a stranger.Behind the glass house he came walking out the backdoor.Into a crowd of screaming girls calling his name
I never saw it coming, the way a voice can make me feel and I fear that I am falling.I should be old enough to know not to fall in love with the voice on the radio.

So here I stand fighting what I feel for you torn between what reason says and how I really feel and here I stand, wondering what to say to you.

Hoping that you feel the same, the same as I do
He's in a rock band with a voice like an angel and eyes of a raven sky
And suddenly I find myself twelve years old again dreaming of you

But who am I kidding to even think that you might see me it's in the stars that girls like me and boys like you were never meant to be.Would you be scared if I told you I like you and would you run if I told you I love you.i have a crush on you.though i dont really want to say it but i know it is true

serious.i think you wouldnt know cuz it seems so unlike me.i dont know

but if i were to say I have a crush on you,would it be okay?

shit after so many months,you just hit me in the nose and i know that this is so much more than an infactuation.

but dont worry.i wouldnt even dream of it.somewhere in my heart is screaming:i have a crush on you.

i like you for your sparsticness,your responsibility,your smile,your charisma.

i have a crush on you.should i tell you and let you go?i've got a crush on you.to sit by you with the stars in between our feet. to be that lucky girl on queen's street with his heart on her sleeve.there she goes,and he makes her sky with neon lights,undeniably. i have a crush on you.i wonder if all guys were players that denied her existance so that they didnt have to face the sappy music.you just make me.for the simple reason, i have a crush on you.

2008-08-05T03:12:00.000-07:00

monday-sucked in the beginning
broke down in the morning.was just sad.for no reason.
aft that was okay thank you for all you guys (karen,isa,yiyun,paige,treeza) for all you guys did to make me feel better
had cheena oral.kimbo gave me an amazing hug when i was feeling damn scared.
it went okay suprisingly.so thats a good thing
have alot of extra details lah but i dont want to talk about it tooo much.
got alot of exclusive stuff on my elljay
but thats only for my closer friends.
sorry!
today-was alot better
got geog 7/10 okay luh
and yea.didnt suck as much.kimbo cried today
nows her turn
wrote her a long long speech on elljay
which I WILL NOT PuT HERE cuz i am lazy
sorry
haha.
so i shall end my post.
luvyea

2008-08-03T06:43:00.000-07:00

the top pigs with collin's mighty bean pig toy
isnt karen PRETTAYE
yellow;karen hot pink:me

it isnt hard to explain why she's so loved
and yes,paige again with an apple
the rasee-manda thing
loved

living rain wash my heart again

me with OMEGA LEVINE, front man Parachute band
a proudly autographed album

wooh what an awesome weekendd it has been:)

yesterday went for fop with ws and kimbo.haha,was really funny.

they were pretending to dao me cuz i was 15 minutes late in meeting them at tanah merah mrt.

they were like"why is that stranger talking to me? oh no what happened to amanda uh?oh shit we left her at tanah merah!!"

haha but aiyah, was too cute for them then they couldnt take it and stopped it.

love myself,yet again.

here's what kimbo wrote on her elljay:
find amanda late today:D
but its okay,the hatred was repayed with DAO-ing her.
haha:D
"NOOO!you all are starting at it again.dont dao me leh"
amanda would say when we dao her for really good reasons like when she was really bimbo at some point.
HAHA.
okay,so we went s'pore indoor stadium-which was extremely cold-havent been there in years.

so FOP started off with a bang with the parachute band playing cool religious songs.
somehow,it touched my heart.
and it sounds real nice.
YEAH.
fun lights,nice bands-hillsong,parachute-to PRAISE THE LORD:D
teehee.
really funny pastors who explain things real well.
makes things interesting.

but most interesting of all was this -quite- irritating random auntie beside me,keeps naggin at me,along with her friend beside her.
i'm just glad i wasnt sitting in between them.
i'll just rot and die there:)
"ey,you should raise your hands up.its supposed to be this way"
or
"just put your money together luh.god will know"
or
"ey,you should go to the toilet now if you want to,cos now its really empty"
or
"girls,you should not be playing while praying"

sometimes,people just care too much about me.:)
but it scares me when strangers do that.
oh,and the playing-while-praying part was said to this bunch of paikia's in front of us,which later got so pissed,they kept openly-irritatedly-want to kill herly-staring at her with hatred filled to the brim.
"if looks could kill,i would've withered there and then":)

the auntie's only a little anal:D
so anyway,it was real coincedence today when i saw josia(small boy,real cute) whom i call my "mini boyfren"
of course,he's not:D

haha.

then i also saw shiao yen just when i was thinking whether she might come,two rows in front of me.
she looked SO surprised when she saw me after a sms saying "hey,look two rows behind you to your right"
:)
she's a grown up now,so proud of her.
its all thanks to my guidiance.no lah,joking.

haha

kimbo was sofunnyy

i laugh until my face is so red now.shuddups kimbo.

wah really ptl yesterday.

we(me ws kimbo) waited for 11 bus for nearly 30 min and they and me were on the brink on panicking.

haha

then we met another chc-er(she wore true religion and totally is chc) who shared cab with us and blessed us by giving us a free ride!

haha.love myself

yesterday dad and mum also went fop with me

aft the session dad bought me PARACHUTE BAND's album and got autographs and and a picture with OMEGA LEVINE,front man:)

love myself,yet again.

haha.

seriously those guys were cool.very friendly.love the black skinnies guys.

today was lit project cum WHY SO SERIOUS outing with karen.

had lit with raseena karen paige me hanisa

were talking alot about STUFF you wouldnt want to know about ,im serious.

took some pics:) and yes wazz

i am napoleon in the skit thing.
OH NO.i really hate napoleon.

sad.

aft that went for movie date with karen.

watched dark knight

was so funny cuz yea we were like squinting at the joker parts

esp the earlier part where he put a knife in the guys mouth and slit him when he said "why so serious"

haha.

his laugh is strange.

people find it scary but i find it really funny.

was laughing like crazy when the joker dressed up as a nurse.

haha both of us cried when the guy's girlfriend died aft the bomb exploded.

and yeah felt that batman was heroic.heh.

bought a pair of rubber pumps which were really cheap $10.

haha:)loveeeittt.

karen tried the yellow one.i ended up with the hot pink pair:)

to dear KAREN:

thanks man for being so much fun today

you look cute when you sulk and when you are upset.

ai yah but you still look pretty without those pumps lah.

i am FLATTEREDD to be your shopping buddy and yes,you are mine too.

love-d the councilling session.

was so cool:)

anyway, love you alot

call me if you are stilll bugged by that kay:)

cyaa

2008-08-02T01:46:00.000-07:00

love this song

its kinda old.okay not really.its one month old.

its that old?

ahaha.anyway,i dont like miley cyrus but she sounds really mature here in 7 things and see you again

7 things is my fave.

2008-08-02T01:26:00.001-07:00

festival of praise was so so awesome last night.
was really impacted by the spirit of thanksgiving and praise
love the parachute band!
sang a song called mercy and i cried
i really cried
this song really reminded me of alot of things
sorry uh,imeem only have 30 sec preview
you can go youtube to check it out uh.

Mercy - Parachute Band

here i am a sinner
broken and in need of you
take my life and wash my fears away
for you are the great i am
rest assured i feel your hand
holding me until the darkness clears
father to the fatherless
redeemer of my soul
my life is yours forever
my heart will always know

your mercy saved me
your mercy made me whole
your mercy found me
called me as your own.

so excited for FOP tonight again!!
woohoo.
so gonna buy their cd

Living Rain - Parachute Band
this is another song i really really enjoyed.
parachute band is like a younger version of delirious
both are really really good.
message really stired me
the offering one i meant.

the fire of the God can only fall when you are willing to give of something that is precious
mum just told me some veryvery very very very good news
Going to LA in november!!
yaynessssssssssss
cya!

2008-08-02T01:12:00.000-07:00

yoohoo

haha toyed around with the picture editing thing

its FUN

haha:)

okay.

yea i will set up a new playlist soon

no time.gta rush for FOP

cya!

2008-07-30T18:44:00.001-07:00

YAYNESS.the CAs are gone!gone!
haaaahaha.can go really RELAX.
shop and movies are the priorities on my mindd noww
zomg cant wait.slacking at the library.
undeniably happy

2008-07-23T21:46:00.000-07:00

gah.
study study study
yea i am on mc but i am working overtime!
disaster man. nearly lost my voice again today
geez cant wait for next week's CAs to be OVERR!!
made so many NOTES.read through my assesments like...uncountable times!
i hope we are going LA this year
everything seems to be going really great!
soo, fingers crossed:)

2008-07-21T03:00:00.000-07:00

beewhypea,sa and me
me STONING.and karen with her giant ezylink
thats what you get when you stand with a really tall dude named elmo
lauraeva getting tormented by the constant bday songs by my classmates

me paige isa.SACP 6 GA forevs
oops.we arent so innocent after all.haha.this was meant as a prank

amanda-sparkle and her fishy named vaish

mental-nut-pigs.a whole new generation

from left:karen,isa,paige and me

today was cross country!

yay-ness

all of us were free from monday morning blues!

here are some quirky pics!

and happy burthday to LAURAEVAWONG.

though we arent BFF close,but can still remember our quirky msn convos and last year when we were spazzing over Methemophosis tog!rmb used to ask you for your8 days synopsis.and used to talk about our fave characters.

haha,you very funny luh.

read your elljay from time to time!

loveyea,and yea,just pig out today,netballer.

2008-07-16T18:09:00.000-07:00

hey guys
sorry havent been updating luh
very BUSY in school and everything
aft i turned 14, like everyday has been passing really fast
about the subject combo thing i really don't know what to do
i dont want to make decisions becuz of the heat of the moment and regret it later
i dont want to do that again but well.i don't know
i want to get into dep class
but i dont know if i am good enough like i said time and time again
well if i do get in, then aft End of years will really have to work on my drama.
man.the world.revolving so fast.i am trying to chase after the train that wouldnt stop.i am trying to pick up the pieces, but as i try to reach for it,it just escapes from my grip.
i know i am so not screwed up
but sometimes i feel that way.
thank God now isnt one of those times

2008-07-12T21:10:00.000-07:00

OMG!
Viva La Dida by Coldplay!
was searching for the full vid cuz youtube only gives 30 sec previews.
so i found this AWESOME accoustic cover!
serious you must hear this.

2008-07-12T20:28:00.000-07:00

yay i am OFFICIALLY 14

felz was so funny.yesterday we were on the phone together.then she was like"you are finally catching up man!"

haha.cuz chey and felz are all 3-4 months earlier than me so yea.

to me

this year was harder than i thought.

the first time you really suffered bad attacks.but hey,thats all in a day's work!God has been really great to you in alot of ways. He has really given you alot of opportunities to be who are and do what your heart desires to. He has blessed you and taught you to listen more to Him and there were times when you were just so so overwhelmed by His burden in your heart and when you really began to encounter Him. this year your relationships with your friends. and you have really treasured what you ought to. though you did take things for granted at some points,but God will always gird you back and remind you of things.this year was quite awesome cuz you did audatious things that people never thought you would.you made others gleam with pride and broke some hearts but at the end of the day, you know that someone up there is so pleased.and that is all you want,really. you try to comfort people whenever they are down,trying to listen whenever you can and you are really trying hard aft God challenged you.

the remaining days of this year are gonna be so different.a renewed you,charged up with His love and yea,all out to shine your light for them to see.

2008-07-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

this post starts with a big D
yes.D for Dedications to all my dear friends that are the awesomestfest things that ever happened and people that really changed the course of my life somehow or another.

okay
sounds so so corny
okay.maybe it is..
firstly
to God for allowing me to be so happy in you.
finding my destiny in you. for the times you were really my comforter.
the times you were my shield.
the days you watched me cry
God i remember all those days when i just was in your presence
praising and seeking you
the days you gave me so much.
God this life is yours.all yours.none mine.
this life i'd give.for your praise
to my mum and dad,
thanks for all your love even when i have been a really pain in the ass sometimes.and when i dont want to tell you stuff.
yes i do have moods and a whole lot of crappy emotions but mum and dad i love you.i want to make you happy.though it isnt always possible.i know you care so much for me and all.thanks for giving me my life.thanks for having me.raising me.caring and teaching me.supporting me.and giving me your love.i am so proud.to have you as my parents.please remember this.
i always will.

to my other friends in RANDOM ORDER
besties felz and chey
hey guys you have seen me since i was p3 all the way till now.sometimes i have been a real bad bitch but you guys have really stuck with me,talked sense into me,supported me,showed me how normal i really am,sang with me,played along with me.and we have done nutty things like say horny things in the most INAPPROPRIATE PLACES,camwhore(duh),sneak into changing rooms and take pics of ourselves in clothes we wished were ours,talked about crushes,about our problems.you guys never failed to be there whenever you could and thats what i really really love about you guys.you care.you love with sincerity.you have seen me in real nutty times like when i was laughing like crazy in the maniac cab we were in together and when i was yea,doing alot of things i shant mention here.
but well you guys know quite alot about me.actually ALOT.so glad we are close.hope we will always stay this way.

Karen:hey there sweet. have known you for quite long already uh.like 2 years!man you have seen alot of me cuz yea we sit next to each other every single day and eat recess tog. you are really a great friend,drama-girl(actress),caring girl.you are really sensitive to others feelings and you are a great listener.have told you ALOT of things as well.we both know each others feelings and secret inner thoughts(some of them).
you read my poems and songs first.cuz yea you are the first i show them to.its awesome how we are so open we are with each other.as in there isnt any reservations at all.you are also one of the bestfestest encouragers that i have ever met in my life.you keep telling me about what you see me as in the future.even though it may sound like an ego boost to many but to me,its just so exciting.just so glad for your love and support all the time.i know you will make it too,just like you say i would.
love you avril lover and kyle patricks and skandar keynes two timer.you rock.you know you do.

Treez:hey there psycho.hee.you are one of the funniest things ever kay.you are SMART.seriously.like you know a whole lot of things that dont fail to impress and suprise me.you are the National Geog and discovery channel fan..serious.and fellow obama supporter!how could i ever forget that man!ahah.though you are loud sometimes but you are really fun to be with and you do make alot of sense.you are sometimes brutal but seriously i LOVE your honesty(:the first time i talked to you properly was during our class debate last year when you were opposition and i was proposition.it was so funny and still can rememeber all the wrong actions we did.haa:)love you and thanks for all the sense you knocked into my head.and yea we must have another of many mini musicals with the rest of the guys.

paige!:hey there.i have known you for so long.okay maybe not as long as others.but for around 4 years.thats pretty long yea?i watched how you really changed from a person who was really scared to do things in p5 to now our sem 1 class chairman,fellow drama student,charismatic speaker,active member of the girl guides(though we both know you dig it and hate it all at one go)you are also a fab friend cuz you are a very willing,helping person and you are a really good listener even when you dont know what is going on,you really just want to be there for your friends.i can really see that in you.and i am just so proud of you:)

isa:hey chinchilla.
though you have been really reserved at times and you are quiet to those who dont know you well,you are actually quite a dynamite.
we first met in p6 officially when we had to sit next to each other when we really hated each other.cuz you thought i was LOUD and i thought you were just some MOUSE.so yea it was like a death sentence but aft we got to know each other better,we became rather good friends.really love your smile. i still have your sms from that day you sent when you found out that i didnt get into VJC.though it was simple,not the longest thing i ever read,but it meant alot to me at that time.you know quite alot about my troubles cuz i tell you most of them,shockingly.cuz you dont have a big mouth.
we sadistically enjoy pinching and POKING each other.and seriously man,we are so gonna try for VJC in sec 4 together.it was so cool.trying to do well for PSLE together.i hope we can do the same for the O levels.love you

beth:beth! my other soundaholic buddyy.
though i am not as pro as you are.the runs and all,thanks for all of your encouragement you have given to me when you read my troubled posts here,you are really great.and fun! and yea you and treez are of the same breed-the general knowledge peeps.
haha:)thanks,really for your card.yea let our light shine for all to see.lets use our voices really,for His glory.
beewhypea:and you can do it for practical! you got it in you, but like you need to get it out.
this little tag really means alot to me.even though we aren't BFF close but yea,i really love you too!you have been an awesome sms buddy and friend!

Shalynne:
SHALYNNE!okay this might be quite quite long cuz i have so many things to say to you! man its been 3 years since we met! it was so funny like how we first met.when my parents and i were looking for seats and finally when we were sitting down,you told us that the seats were for your members.ever since then,we have been having countless phone calls,hugs,discipleship for me but most imporantly, your friendship,humour,love and leadership.you've really been a great example to me as well as you model how you really submit and serve with all your heart.i am so proud to be your member.i can still remember all the things you said to me eversince i started taking you seriously.thanks for always being there!

adora:HEY COGL!haha(:even before you were my leader,you have always been a very open friend and sister to me.you too,really showed me how you really pressed into Sha's life.really so excited to learn from you!thanks for being there for me and listening.even that time in the train,the time when i called to talk a week or two ago.love you!

okay i gtg kay:)
will write more of these when i can!
thanks a mil

2008-07-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

PLEASED.

VERY PLEASED.

GRINNING LIKE A CHASHIRE CAT.

FEELING the HYPER-PSYCO-MAD-ISH-NUTTY-SINGIN-TILL-I-LOSE-MY-VOICE-MOOOD

okay.

dad and mum you have totally proved me wrong.

14th might just be the COOLEST birthday ever

seriously.

i thought that this year would suck,big time.

but well.it apparently doesnt

apart from quite afew interesting gifts which i definitely won't elaborate on.(im sure you wouldnt want to know)

so far the coolestest thing i got is the SONY CYBERSHOT T2 CAMERA!!and THE SONY PHOTO PORTABLE PRINTER!!

zomg zomg

i wanted to scream but yea,it wasnt proper.but i am so so damn excited.loveeit!!

thanks to beth for the badge! it says I LOVE(HEART) DC!

love it.

david cook is so loved.

though i have added Chace Crawford and Skandar Keynes to my hot books.

hee:)i told felz about the badge beth suprised me with and yea,she nearly went crazy.

tmr will be a celebration with mum and dad(for nearly the whole day) then dinner at my grandma's

yea.so will be moree pressies oh

okay i mean birthdays are to

a)remind you that you have aged a year,so you must mature somehow if you love yourself

b)allow you to be appreciated by your friends and also appreciate and love those who are very special to you

c)love yourself.and have little requests/desires of gifts granted

d)pig out and feel good about it.cuz you know somehow the calaries would just fall into place SOMEHOW.

e)wake up late.and do what you want.be a pig when you can

f)be contented.looking back on the last year,feeling good about what you have achieved with the help of God and yea,congragulate yourself and stay focussed for new goals

g)do what you want,like stay up until the wee-hours of the morning the day before to blog.haha

okay that list was TOTALLY ThOUGHT OF BY ME okay.

hee.

anyway i have alot of great people i knew during the whole time and yea,i will dedicate a whole post to my loves at 12am.hee.

service was great today.pst kong really preached a great great message(like he always does!!)

yea,and cg celebrated my bday for me(:

thanks guys!

was so funny.aft the song,and present(AHEM)i had to choose 1 out of 3 options.

and yea i picked a sabo.

this year's sabo wasnt so scary luh.just find a random stranger and ask for a photo aft explaining its my birthday

so my cg aimed this security guy at the front of the stage.so i was like.OKAY.NO SWEAT BABY.

when i was in aunty mag's car going to nainai's bday celebration at chinatown,was opening the 3 option stuff that cher gave me

one said"sing a song for the cg"(i half wished that i picked that instead)

and another said"tell 3 things about yourself that the cg doesnt know to them"

so i was like OKAY.haha

just talked to felz.around like half-fourty five mins ago

so glad to hear her voice.just reminded me that friends are always gonna be there.they will never be too far away for you to reach and look for.

(:love you girlfriends(s)

as well as all my friends that have a special place in my heart.

you guys know it.as well as i:)

love you!

okay right.i needa move on to the next post!

cya

2008-07-11T08:53:00.001-07:00

ryan caberra with shine on

nice:)

i think he's kinda cute

note i said KINDA

2008-07-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

me(okay i look strange),beth,saiybah and treez
hotel stay.this was my fantastic bed.
awesomest white bathroom.me and dad.yea it was a candid shot
Singapore Flyer.yea i took this MySELF.
dad mum and me

today was funny!went to school.thank God PE was 5 items.we did 3.

suprisingly, my sit and reach and broadjump and shuttle run has improved alot. yea!

had the career talk thing:) pretty interesting.

i enjoyed the first keynote speaker.

i gather that i am between musical,creative and lingistic intelligence

went for the preschool talk.

felt damn annoyed.cuz the people werent listening.just yaking away

and the speaker was abit....strange.

here's a funny conversation between me,kimbo and vaish

Mrs Cheong(speaker): you must learn to Laugh the children(she wanted to say LOVE but it sounded like LAUGH) then they will laugh you in return

Vaish: Amanda, karen i laugh you

Karen: hahaaha

Kimbo:(faking doe-eyed innocent look) Amanda I laugh you...NOT.

Me: shuddup

Mrs Cheong(speaker):can you hear me on the might(she wanted to say MIKE)

kimbo,me(mimicking her):might,mike,might.

the second one was alot worst.

serious.we were all expecting a Creative arts media talk thing

in the end,some super chinese-teacher looking guy(gathered by the insightful conclusion of me and karen) came to talk to us about media engineering at temasek poly

poor karen kept asking if we were at the wrong talk.aft the reality sunk in, we were yea,bored to death. and took shi bei's paper and pen and started writing notes to each other.

felt so cheated sia.haha.

after dat,went for lunch with treez at macs. ai yo,she's another one.saving for singfest and dont wantta eat,so yea i treated her.

had fun.was crapping around.talking about random stuff.she just never fails to crack me up somehow.

then saw beth,saiybah,kimbo,ws,yiyun at starbucks so we went to join them

then went to library together.

was so funny.on the way back to school,we were all singing( as treez put it,we had a Mini musical)different songs

from breaking free,start of something new,when you look me in the eye, SOS,stars..haha

it was fun!love singing with my friends.or anyone at all

dont find it embarassing.i mean even if the whole world stared(:

love it.

sec 3 combination was kinda stress for me cuz i really dont really know what i want.

though i want to get into Drama class next year,i mean i really dont know if i can do it..

if i am cut out for it

so went to see ms izrina tog with treez,karen,paige,vaish etc then i dropped the very-brutal-question."Ms Izrina, do you think if i am cut out for drama next year?"

ms izrina explained to me that i am really good at theory and memorising.work very hard,have goals and all.she isnt really sure if practical is my thing.but aft i talked to her and told her i really want this, she told me that if i do get into drama next year, i will have to really work for it and prove to her that i deserve it,cuz tho she says i have been good in the theory, i havent had any defining role for her to see what i am really made of.

so thats gonna be my challenge.

i don't know.just gonna leave it for now.discuss with mum and dad.

but i hope i can get into DEP class next year cuz all my friends will be there.

it would just be twice the fun with them around.

2008-07-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

tongue tied by faber drive
heart this song
i heard it like long long ago but still,love it

Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like something's just aren't the same
What could I say?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away
(I wonder just where you are)
Was it something I said?
Or something I never did?
Or was I always in the way?
Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
Again

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
But every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

2008-07-09T18:23:00.001-07:00

Spotlight shining brightly, on my face
I can't see a thing and yet I feel you walking my way
Empty stage, with nothing but this girl
Singing this simple melody and
Wearing her heart on her sleave

And right now
I have you, for a moment I can tell I've got you
Cuz your lips don't move
Something is happening
Cuz your eyes tell me the truth
I've put a spell over you

Beauty emanates from every word that you say
You've captured the deepest thoughts
In the purest, and simplest of ways
But you see, I'm not that graceful, Like you
Nor am I as eloquent
But just a simple melody
Can change the way that you see me

And right now, I have you
For a moment I can tell I've got you
Cuz your lips don't move
And something is happening
Cuz your eyes tell me the truth
I've put a spell over you

And all my life I've stumbled
But up here I am just perfect
Perfect as I'll, ever be

I have you, for a moment
I can tell I've got you
Cuz your lips don't move
And something is happening
Cuz your eyes tell me the truth
I've put a spell over you

2008-07-09T18:04:00.000-07:00

i don't know why people are making such a big deal
when i no longer view it as a bugging issue
are they trying to question how much i know myself
what is this crap about me trying to hide from you.
and not wanting to talk
you want to know why i am like that
fine.
cuz everytime i talk to you i get hurt somehow or another
you can't seem to say something right
and i can't seem to stop my heart from being fragile
i dont know whats up with you
whats up with me
whats up with the two of us
this can't go on and we both know it.
i want to love you.
i just don't know how
sorry for screaming at you yesterday
i really couldnt help myself
i don't know why in your eyes everything has a reason and the reason must be found at all costs
who needs reasons
yes we do need to REASON with each other.
but sometimes i just don't want to know
i don't need theories.
i just need love
it doesn't help when you say that you are okay. and ask if i am
but i know you are dissapointed
don't you understand that its my life that you are talking about
i can't say"please be honest"
cuz the truth is even if you do be honest with you and me
its gonna hurt
i just need love
i have been restraining myself from doing unpleasant things
and saying unpleasant words
but you know it beats me up inside each time i can't do what i want
and when you don't understand
why i don't want to let lose
is cuz i don't want to hurt the way you do.

2008-07-09T04:14:00.000-07:00

just checked the VJC portal
yea karen and vaish and paige and isa you guys are all wrong
didnt get in luh
NEVERMIND!haha:)i was kinda laughing when i saw it
cuz i mean it didnt seem to affect me. if you told me 2 months ago i didnt get in, might have been a bit dissapointed. but its OKAY.things happen for a reason.
so if i am fated to wear the greeny for 2 more years,well i just will have to do just that.
if i am fated to get into drama class then yea i will
so wow
what birthday am i talking about
seriously i am not looking forward to anything this year
other than haagen daaz ice cream cake and presents
and meeting fels and chey(how could i forget that!!)
grr.today was okay.went to the surgeon.yea that guy who did my wisdom tooth op to take out the plaster.seriously it was so painful!gah i wanted to frigging punch his balls.
okay i am crude..dammit but it hurt big time. i was like squealing and pushing him away cuz it was really hurting me
cmps finally IS over!mrs lim was really encouraging.presentation went well.
so proud of TEAM WOLF.yea yea!
drama today sucked for me. i just feel that i am not acting up to standard.
like seriously i mean i dont know where that spark went.
even that super g** Mr Fi said that i needed more emotion.
i guess i have been crying alot lately so i dont have emotions when i need them.
gawd like seriously.why is this happening to me before my birthday.gah
well Ms Tan( karen you are so gonna scream,but its okay) smsed me back aft i told her about my email. she said that it would be great if we could work tog.ahem.thats amazing.but well i just need to brush up drama.
i need to really shape up!!!!
zomg. i am definitely not the best actress.or even better few.
i dont know man.i love drama but i dont know if it loves me as much.
geez i need love.
i was thinking that to get into VJ there are certain ways.
a) direct school admission drama and interact.and maybe vocals
b) get superr good results for O levels.not impossible but heh.you can expect the blood, sweat and tears.

so i will try option A first.
so if like dat, will have to really jia you in interact though i really dont want to. and i will get more help with drama.go for classes and really IMPROVE MYSELF.and hopefully take exams and get merit or above(wow) so i can yea boost that portfolio. and yea get into as many things as i can.
but having said that,i mean i will do option b all the time
study my best luh basically.
(: okay i shall end here

2008-07-08T04:29:00.000-07:00

not really a fan of HSM but i am startin to like their songs(FREAKY)

serious but this is nice

i find it rather interesting luh

cuz yesterday i was watching disney channel

it was HSM and i wanted to change channel cuz i find it annoying cuz its overrated

but my parents insisted that it is nice and interesting so watched the whole thing

so yea i might just get hooked on all their songs

this one is very special to me

cuz i have been at a place like this myself

i've gotta go my own way

LYRICS
I gotta say what's in my mind
Something about us
doesn't seem right these days
life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan
is always rearranged
It's so hard to say
But I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok..
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own away
Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
and I watch them fall everytime
Another colour turns to grey
and it's just too hard to watch it all
slowly fade away
I'm leaving today 'cause I've
gotta do what's best for me
you'll be ok..
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own away

2008-07-06T02:24:00.001-07:00

please watch this:)

2008-07-06T00:08:00.000-07:00

note to God-JoJo

seriously gotta learn this song. it really touched me

yesterday service was great.

during the tailend of the service when pst mike was asking us to remember our dissapointments and grief and then lift it to God, it just hit me. just was overwhelmed with alot of things.though i couldnt remember exactly the incidents,but i was really mourning.

stayed back after service for prayer and ministry,just allowed God to deal with any hurts/stuff in my life though i didnt know what it was specifically. so that was good.

in the train i just broke down. was crying like crazy.okay its kinda embarrassing but thats okay.thanks adora for being there for me! love you alot(: i didnt really open up to anyone about this before cuz i guess its something that comes and goes,and when it comes it just causes alot of sorrow and grief and regret and guilt. thanks girl once again for staying with me the whole time all the way to bedok. and to adora, i tried the note thing. i dont know if she read it yet but when i was writting it last night i was bawling my eyes out,literally.

cuz i remembered alot of things and wrote almost all of them down. so it was painful but i will just leave it all to God.

next week is my birthday but somehow i dont know.dont feel as happy as i should. God i need more joy in my life!

2008-07-04T00:25:00.000-07:00

If I wrote a note to God
I would speak whats in my soul
I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away,
For love to overflow
If I wrote a note to God
I'd pour my heart out on each page
I'd ask for war to end
For peace to mend this world
I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin' wrong
On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God
I would say what on my mind
I'd ask for wisdom to let compassion rule this world
Until these times
If I wrote a note to God
I'd say please help us find our way
End all the bitterness, put some tenderness in our hearts
And I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin' wrong
On this road we're on

No, no no no
We can't do this on our own
So so

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin' wrong
On this road we're on

If i wrote a note to God

i really like this song lots.its just the innocence of youth that i guess is what i like.go youtube it.sounds good too

2008-07-04T00:17:00.000-07:00

yea yea woah
feels like click five all over again for some reason
gah i want to go for singfest
but i can't luh cuz i dont believe in starving
treez and the others are like starving to get money for tickets
haha but i just can't. i love food too much to do that.
i heard a new song today. i like it alot.thanks beth for singing it.
its called prayer to God.but the whole song is just lots of runs. so yea thats just the song.but the song is nice.
will put it here soon. love elljay.told only afew people so its EXCLUSIVE
i like being EXCLUSIVE.so when i say that,means that....NEVERMIND.
there's this really anti-climax wave around me.

2008-07-03T23:55:00.000-07:00

yesterday was thursday
yesterday i was so tired
yesterday i said a very bad word i pray i wouldnt say ever again
yesterday i got pissed off very much
yesterday i got more than just annoyed
yesterday i realised that stuff arent just so simple
yesterday i felt unaccepted
yesterday i felt as if my classmates dont really want me around
somehow or other
yesterday
yesterday didnt make me scream for joy but yea,just was damn annoying
dammit
9 days to my bday

2008-07-02T18:38:00.000-07:00

CmPS is the new four letter word

haha.yea i was with stef and karen doing our CmPs project and we felt like swearing
yea cuz the pictures were nothing short of gruesome
so we couldnt exactly swear.cuz karens parents were at home
so we were just yelling CmPS!
haha.
lol i feel lame.okay i think swapping frenenemies and friends and finding new BFFs and boyfriends online is just STUPID STUPID.abcdefing stupid
so yea.sorry if you thought that i was talking about you
cuz i am talking about alot of you
ha.well, well
today is gonna be pretty okay i guess
tmr cg:) and next week i have 3 tests on the same day
math CA
Science Formative test
Art Test

wed i have-cheena newspaper thing CA

aft wed i seriously need to celebrate
but week 4 theres more
GAH
okay:)
anw,abit random
my bday is coming in 10 days(yay me.14 woots)
*hint*: i like customised canvas shoes.like you get those plain ones and design them for me:)
i think those are really nice.hope i would get one of those for my bday!
(those balet pumps you can get at bata.yes its totally white)
*hint 2*: i like boxes with alot of small surprises inside! and a really long letter would make my day too!
i want alot of things man.
i am thinking of gathering some of my friends and go have a meal or something like those i am closer to.(karen,treez etc)
not confirmed but it isnt gonna be big
my 16/18th would be a big bang im sure
planning to have a celebration with my 2 BFFs seperately
miss them alot.
so well.lets see

2008-07-02T18:06:00.000-07:00

haha, after the ranting let me just share how my day was yesterday

yesterday's run sucked it was so tiring
couldnt sleep last night cuz yea my legs were aching like crazy.couldnt roll around like i normally do
was at drama.was good.
was at interact.was not so good.
was with kimbo.ate potato snack and drank strawberry milk tea.she ate french fries.we spazzed over stuff.skandar new craze.we are both hooked.wanted to press button.punched kimbos eye by accident.
went home.watched tv.whined down.did revision(gah alot to do).adora called.told me to don't stress.right.smsed shalynne.continued work till 10.45pm.slept

so that was how the day was.
ha:)
my bday is in 10 days time!
here are my wishes.not just the material stuff i want

1.to do well in my studies
2.have a better relationship with my friends(yea my BFFS.)
3.to get into VJC IP IF possible.if not,the drama elective class next year
4.improve my singing
5.have a better relationship with my parents and God
6.really press into my leaders life
7.get on radio again,soon
8.do something different(i already thot about it.not saying it here)
9.be a better friend
10.learn to make better decisions
11.be more willing to learn

so yea these are my short term goals
of course i am not gonna tell you my long term ones
haha.i think a blog is kinda ironic
cuz it is supposed to be private.but i just realised quite sometime ago,that it is not so private after all

2008-07-02T17:56:00.000-07:00

HEYLO guys sorry havent been blogging
haha
havent really been my usual self cuz i am just freakum annoyed but the superficial idiots that i see.my friends feel i am still the same juz that i talk about these issues alot
seriously i have NO PLACE to judge but i cant stand it personally
on the blog scene this few days there have been alot of people with a stupid post called I WANT A NEW BFF
who is that....hmm that sounded like paris hilton
no not 1 but i read so so many,just felt like puking
i understand that the human soul needs companionship but if you want a BFF thats so NOT the way to find one.haha.like saying "HEY I AM LOOKING FOR A NEW BOYFRIEND or LIFEPARTNER"
its absurd
like did i become best of friends with felz and chey through searching on facebook? no!
and the requirements they have are so corny yes and in my opinion very superficial
like -camwhore with me everyday
-must feel how i feel(>??zomg how)
-be pretty
-go shopping with me very often
-always call me

zomg like?? abcdefing annoying
okay i am complaining
that makes me annoying too
but anw! i just hope that they would just shut the ****(dont worry the word doesnt start with "f") up
zz. cya

2008-06-29T00:28:00.002-07:00

was chatting with Adora today in the morning aft tuition
was alot of fun as i began to share with her alot of stuff about yes,vision,dreams,asking for advice and all
adora is love-d
so!yea:)
God spoke to me about somebody yesterday during worship
worship was veryvery very good.i just really cried out to God
and presence of God was so strong:)
went to botak jones to eat with mum and dad aft service
was great!hee:)
cant wait to call Shalynne later!!

2008-06-29T00:28:00.001-07:00

heya
sorry havent been updating
anyway:)first week of school finally OVER.love it!
hee.meaning that my bday is coming soon!
13 July is <3-ed
well i have a WISH LIST

not in order of importance

1)gift cards(reasons to spend MORE)
-BORDERS!!
-MANGO!!
-newurbanmale!
2)stuff from paper chase
3)vintage shirts! one that says"EMO" in green(its VINTAGE,VINTAGE!)
4)musical hoodies!(you can get me one at a blogshop at around $28)
5)IPOD video in black
6)Digi-camera! i want either a -cybershot,cannon or nikon
7)new jeans!
8) red/hot pink/yellow/bronze havaianas (NEEDED;actually all of them are)
9) a new dress!(a classy one. a sundress would make me smile too!)
10) converse shoes!!(i like the 2 tongued ones)
11) a new bag( a big one please)
12)i want a hoodie!
13)new wedges!
14)new patent pumps!!
15)chocolates and candies
16)KIMONO DRESS! in white/grey! you can get it at $16 at www.shoppingdreamland.blogspot.com
17) white shuttershades!
18) ooh! accessories.i want a new necklace
19)vest!!
20) stuff from far east! i want a vintage smurf tee!!
21) striped bf shirt with logo at the pocket in green!

haha.overwhelmed.yes i want alot of stuff
so yea,please make me happy on 13th July!
heee

2008-06-23T06:33:00.000-07:00

hey guys
so sorry havent been updating!
yea
i will write about my adventures with mum and dad from friday-sunday again in another post
yes it was fun,crazy,love that i really never felt in the world
we went midnight shopping on fri(like until 11 plus) and on sat!(reached home at 12 plus!!)
my parents are really great
was joking with them about next time when i have wedding dinner
then my parents were like assuring me that those very cheapskate aunties and uncles wont come cuz my parents profess themselves as"unconventional"
love that word
haha
anyway!
school started today but i couldnt go cuz yea my wisdom tooth was aching like **** so yea
i stayed at home,went for science tuition(its finally fun to me) and then went to see Dr Tan(my sergeon) about my recovery
tmr is gonna be a new day!
yay i cant wait to get back to school,roll up my sleeves,slog the livin guts out of me,excell,shine for God and really,live to the max
today i want to blog about sunday's makeup cellgroup!
i went for Gloria's makeup cg at hougang!
chloe was leading and it was very very good!
really just basking in the presence of God, getting encouraged,refreshed,hearing from God and really the presence of God was so so strong.
chloe didnt preach but the whole time was ministry
and God really met me in that place
when chloe laid hands on me, i just felt as if there was a balloon in my head that burst and really began seeing alot of visions of me in the future serving God and His people
God spoke to me before about being a leader for Him in the future
all the times He told me about it i was unwilling
though i told God that i would do anything
cuz i really thought that really,if God would call me to be a leader it would be quite a very far of thing
like 7-8 years
cuz i am only 14
then i really began to cry,it was like yelping
i have NEVER cried like that in my life
then chloe began to profesy over me
she said"right now you are seeing alot of visions in your head and you are wondering if that is God.Yes i tell you,it is God dealing with your spirit.Truly He is really going to rise you up to be His leader.don't doubt the vision of God don't trust in your own ability don't let fear arise in you. God is very pleased with what he sees in your life.even as you struggled and really pressed in,God is very very pleased. Fire of God come and Fill her,oh annointing is coming upon you"
wow i tell you
she really deposited the seed of vision into me
Shalynne told me before that as a christian, at a certain point in our walk with God, He will give us a direction, a call and from then,every experience and every thing that He will bring you through will prepare you ultimately to see that calling come to pass
though i really dont know whats going to happen,i really felt very encouraged as i began to fellowship with Chloe aft the cellgroup meeting
we began to share with each other alot of things.about how God has used us, and yea,it was great
that night when i went home i really cried out to God with a burden in my heart,to be willing
to be a good testimony at home
really thats the cry of my heart
yes i do have alot of things that i really seeked God for but i really have a burden for my family,my parents
really to be a good example at home.a good testimony
that they wouldnt think of me as the daughter who always goes to church and doesnt care about anything else but a person who really serves God but at the same time is shining in her studies and someone who works very very hard for things

when i was on the bed last night, God challenged me to work hard at my studies and really shine for Him in that area of my life. God said to me" those things that i have placed in your hands,the responsibilities,i expect you to really work hard at them,really shine in them and really show the world that even as you are a child of God you can really have a spirit of excellence"
so i said "YES"

this few days have been playing the piano to worship God alot and each time i play,i really sense the love of God and His peace in my home
oh and i managed to figure out the new song we learnt in church!
that sat when i sang that song,the lyrics really hit my heart and i really teared in the presence of God

My jesus my Lord
your the love of my life
wherever you go
wanna be by your side
no longer i
but Christ living in me
serving you for all eternity
my eyes set on you
in this race that i run
no longer my ways
let Your will be done
make me a servant my hearts ever true
clinging to the cross
i'll follow you
i'll follow you

it was great
this song really spoke to me
and everytime i sing this song i really pledge my heart to God all over again
truly loving God with every ounce of my might is what i long to do everyday of my life

2008-06-18T01:11:00.000-07:00

heylo people!

hee:)

okay today i am more hyperr!

gahahaa;)

well really happy!daddy got me a new baby g watch!

the BG 2000-7

yes the white one on the seventeen mag!

cant wait for next thurs' interview!
got to prepare!

2008-06-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

yesterday i faced my fear
i went for the wisdom tooth operation
for you guys who know me very well(fels,cheye)you guys know i am scared of needles cuz i had really bad experiences with them since i was young.especially when they had to go into my mouth.
you two know likegod-knows-how-many-extractions i had
really thank God for His peace
cuz i already started having cold feet in the cab to camden
so if you were me you could imagine how many thoughts i had running through my head
about me screaming in the theatre(it happened once,dont wish to bring it up)
about me crying at the sight of the needles and the instruments
but when i went into the hall in my heart i just said"God well what can i say,i just commit my spirit to you.i dont want to fear or to make any more mistakes like i did last time"
so i just really rested in God's love
and came out stronger
though it hurts now
quite sore
so sorry guys who have been calling me and me having to reject your calls and always having to send you guys smses in return
haha
yea:)continue to pray for me and all
really appreciate all you guys who have send me concerned smses especially shalynne!
shalynne called me yesterday exactly 1 hr before i was going for the op and she prayed for me over the phone
yea:)thanks so much sha!
anyway:)i want to watch something stupid that would make me laugh
oh and watch this!
all dressed up in love/jennifer hudson for sex and the city soundtrack!
awesomest song
seriously i prefer this to mercy
yea:)!

and how could i forget Labels or Love by FERGIE?
haha:)
sex and the city mania:)
seriously man the kick-ass outfits,the stunning cast,the gorgeous sets,the fantastic shoes,the roofheight scandalism!
haha
just want to watch the show man!!
want to be 18 like NOW
ahaha:)

2008-06-16T01:55:00.000-07:00

to enlarge please click on the picture:)

yea

i think some of you guys saw this picture entry shown during service 1 of fathers' day weekend:)yea really thank God that i won..i already knew on the 1st night ofbig bang camp but i wanted to keep it a secret,only told afew people.like the leaders..cuz i wanted to let every1 have a surprise.

haha:)it was great.now im making mental notes to myself about how i am gonna use the $200 capitaland vouchers:)hee

pst zhuang pronounced my name wrongly!!!!wanted to scream!

you could ask jan soo she was laughing like crazy cuz i looked so constepated.so you get the picture.when someone pronounces my name wrongly i am not really a happy sweet,.yea.

too bad my dad and mum didnt get to see the entry i sent cuz they were at service 2 so yea.for each service there's a diff winner so it isnt a church standard winner throughout

on a more serious note,here's something i want to say to dad,
daddy you have seen me do the craziest of things
and no matter what i did,you'd always support me,even when you didnt understand why
i could still remember the times i used to play at piano recitals,and as a kid
i loved playing the piano,you would always encourage me when i was tired of practicing.
everytime,you would give me a hug before i perform.and i knew that when i began to play,i could feel your gaze upon me.
in everything i did i had your love
i remember the time i was on radio,even though you werent like my other rara friends that were all hyperventalating,i knew that in your heart you were very proud that your daughter was on radio,mummy even told me that you told alot of your friends about it cuz you were just so proud,so proud.
when i got through for a certain interview,i was so happy i cried and screamed like a maniac at beach road aft i heard the news,daddy even though you dont react like me,i can really sense your joy and all your warmth.
amongst other people you dont talk much,even among your cellgroup and all,but everytime im with you,you always make sure i am happy,that i have a good time.thanks for all the sacrifices you made to make me smile
never once did you ever complain of being tired when i was a younger member and you had to bring me for cellgroup and bring me home all the time.even when you had to wait and all,you just wanted me to be safe.thats something i will always remember.
dad next time if i do get married,i want to marry a husband that like you,is sacrificial,that really loves others with his heart and God with his life.
dad you are really a great example to me
you know what my dream is,and you keep reminding me of it
you know what my secrets are
and i have so much trust in you that even when you say little little things that others may have said before,i didnt believe them but yet i choose to believe what you say to me

i love you daddy

2008-06-13T03:27:00.000-07:00

tired
tired
tired
but stirred up inside my spirit
came back from BIG BANG camp
and gosh it was fantastic
the games were good and our team emerged TOPS!
yea!
AMPLIFIED <33!
okay anyway,during encounter night i really heard from God about a different spirit being poured out on those who are willing to hear the voice of God.
willing to seek the Lord even when they only hear a slight inkling of His voice,they keeep pressing in,keep searching,keep knocking,keep praying.
when Mj laid hands on me i just exploded in my spirit and it was really great.
i am now praying that the unity,and the annointing that we got during camp,and the camp itself will not be a touch-and-go experience but a stepping stone for greater things.
for the 2 nights i was really blessed cuz i got to pray with my other members
1st night was basically all the girls from e369 and n410(except those who were sleeping or didnt want to come)
the 2nd night it was with almost every1 from n410 and e369.
was great yesterday and i am really expecting more from God now.
i asked God for faith to reach out to a person in my team and God heard my prayers
and really it is so so amazing cuz i am not really the ra-ra kind,whose slightest words can get people excited but really is the grace of God that the person is so so open to me.
was sharing with her something during devotion and then i prayed for her.
in my spirit i really sensed God prompting me to ask her if she has any burdens/anything bothering her and she said family.
so i began to pray in tongues and the Holy spirit said,"pray for love in the home.pray for peace.that the family will be united.bind strife and all anger"
and i did that .i was really suprised cuz when i prayed the 1st prayer with her about our friends she wasnt listening.she was still opening her eyes,looking around but when i prayed for her family,she was so open.she was closing her eyes and agreeing with me!
praise God!
hen God told me to share with her about loving people and talking to people that she doesnt know and to challenge her to get to know the people in the team so yes i did just that and
bam!God really did a work last night.
after all that,she was so on during the challenges.
when the other team mates needed help she was so willing.
when adora asked for volunteers,she was the first one.
when she saw other members from n410 and e369 sitting alone or together during the lunch break,during the activities,she began to engage them.
i am really very very excited that God is really making me more sensitive to His spirit when he says something,when He asks me to say something to someone or do something,really can sense that every single action i do with the strength of God has weight has substance has His presence i was really blown away when God began to use me to talk to people i never knew too well,to really step out and he really taught me to serve

i want to affirm Janice Soo!
she has really taught me alot of things and i must really thank her cuz she has passed on something really powerful to me-serving.
during the whole camp she was sick but never once did she complain of discomfort and even when she didnt have her voice,even when it was hoarse,she still cheered her loudest,still tried to build atmosphere.
she always is there for the leaders.always waits for them,serves them and honors them.and that is one thing that she really rubbed onto me.
the first day of camp,when we were having dinner and we were queuing for drinks,jan said to me,"hey lets go serve the leaders.you go take the food i go fill up the drinks."
and she really made sure that the leaders were doing good.that they ate well.
the second day,during lunch,we both turned to each other and said,"lets serve the leaders"
thats what i find so so beautiful.
that an attitude of faith and love spreads to rapidly and it rubs onto you.
it is really great serving the leaders and doing little little things for them.when we were giving the cgls and the team leaders food,i really sensed God smiling.
the next person i want to affirm is ADORA
she is my team IC
and personally i believe that a team is only as great as its leader.
and the reason why we are so willing to fight,and so strong as a team is not only because of us but really because of our leaders capacity
adora really took care of us as members and she really lead very well.
the thing that she did that touched me the most was when we were having a race at ubin on the first day,there were alot of people who were very tired and who always lagged behind.
and adora,from the front,went all the way to the back to talk to the people and really stir them up and challenge them to a mini run.
really praise God for all the things that He has done
i really thank God for sensitivity to His voice.
last night,we had a prayer meeting as a cg(CS cg!)
and we had to break up into 2s to pray for unity.
then janice and i began praying in the spirit and God whispered in my ear,"put your hands on her throat and pray against the pain and the hoarseness.bind the discomfort,claim healing by faith."
i was abit unsure but aft i snapped out of that and i laid my hands on her throat and began to pray that healing will come into her throat and every discomfort would leave
at first her voice was very very very bad.
she couldnt pray properly but slowly as i began praying her voice grew louder and louder and she was speaking in tongues louder and louder/
this morning when i was brushing my teeth God just said to me,"hey go hear janice's voice"
so i found her in the kitchen and started making conversation with her and wow praise the Lord!her voice really came back strong!
praise God for healing.
her voice is still sexy lah(as in its still low)
low still but her voice is alot louder than before!
that really boosted my faith cuz i really saw God in action right infront of me!
yea:)hallelujah for all God has done.
okay
m crapily tired.but gonna eat dinner soon
can sleep aft dat
yayness!
hahas:)
cya people

2008-06-10T08:06:00.000-07:00

going to be away at camp tomoro

yay!the big BANG!

hees!

i went out with my dear girls on monday:)had a really great time of eating,trying-on-clothes-we-couldnt-buy,watching and cracking up at the cinema(kungfu panda),laughing at each others horny jokes....dah dah dah.it just goes on and on

yea

i love love love felificiafa and cheyfeyennefenne

yea!!

hees:)

here are some pics for you guys

2008-06-07T23:13:00.001-07:00

thats what you get//Paramore!

love this song!

listen noww!

2008-06-07T22:09:00.000-07:00

1.What is the connection between you & the last person that called you ?
Felicia and CHey conference! THey are my BESTFESTEST friends!!

2.Did you ever turn off your cell phone ?
yea.when i am really tired,need to sleep or when i have work to do and i cant concentrate with its presence.

3.What happened at 10.00am today ?
washing up,waiting for math tuition.

4.When did you last cry ?
when i was sharing my probs with jan tan(and please dont ask me what they are,i wont tell you)

5.What is your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter ?
i never liked peanut butter.

6.What do you want in your life right now ?
i want to get into something..and i want to go work in the entertainment industry!
i want to get well NOW so i can eat all the HOLY OREO COOKIE MUD PIES in the WORLD.(i think kimbo and ws and beth would be laughing their ass off)

7.Do you carry an umbrella out when it rains,or just put on your hood ?
uh duh i carry an umbrella.i dont want to get a cold._.

8.What’s your favourite thing to put on your bed ?
hmm:)my giant stitch toy!it is still one of my fave pressies from dad

9.What bottoms are you wearing now ?
grey cigar skinnies

10.What is the nicest text in your inbox says ?
hehs,i cant remember:))

11.Do you tend to make relationships complicated ?
um what do you think
i mean:)i have good friends.and i dont stand for nonsense no matter who you are.so my answer is no.

12.Are you wearing something that you borrowed from someone ?
no.

13.What was the last movie you last caught ?
omg.when was that!!!oh i think it must be fever pitch(on teevee!)

14.What are you proud of ?
a lot of things.but more of my achievements.cuz i did some pretty cool things:)

15.What does the oldest text message in your inbox says ?
oh,.a christmas message from my aunt!

16.What is the last song you sang out loud ?
haha;)TAKE A BOW by RIHANNA(sorry dad,will change song soon.i know you are bored of it)

17.Do you have any nice names ? What are they ?
hmm!amanda fudge sparkle.nice ehh??

18.What was the last receive text message ? Who was it from?
oh from felicia,.who said cya aft i said i had to go aft a really long phone convo

19.What time did you go to bed last night ?
haha.1 am plus.was writing notes:))

20.Are you currently happy ?
yes!hahs.there isnt a reason for me to be upset anyway

21.Who gives you the best advice ?
hmm.mum,sha,jantan,jan soo,FELICIA and CHEYEE!!

22.Do you eat whipped cream straight away from the can ?
YEA,i mean y not eat it FRESH!its the LOVE totally

23.Who did you talk on phone last night ?
YES:)with feli and chey!

24.Is anything bugging you right now ?
hmwork,flu,temptations to eat fried and cold stuff

25.What’s bugging you right now ?
THIS IS A REPEAT OF QUESTION 24.so MY ANSWER'S THE SAMEE

26.Do you wear toe socks ?
yea i tried it once

27.Who was the last person you last had a missed call from ?
Shalynne

28.Have you ever had your heartbroken ?
yes:)but not in a bgr way la

29.What annoys you most in a person ?
hmm.pride and double mindedness.and HOARDS OF SELFPITY.especially guys.i think they are total scoundrels.

30.Do you have a crush on anyone ?
hmm.maybe?but i wont tell ALL OF YOU.feli chey would tell you if i have.but the rest,i am so sorry bbut NOPE

31.Have you ever done cocaine ?
nope:)are you kidding me?im 14!

32.What is the colour of your room ?
pink.and hot pink.zomgs:)but its nice.swear to god

33.Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar ?
huhs?no im not a murderer/and surely i wouldnt murder for money

34.Do you believe in the saying “talk is cheap” ?
yes,absolutely.when guys try to be bootlickers.i HATE that/

35.Who was the last person who lay in your bed ?
ME.no one lies on my bed except me

36.Who was the last person who hugged you ?
hmm..jan soo!

37.Did anyone see the last person you kissed ?
hmm.i cant remember:)

38.Do you have a life ?
duh.and a pretty exciting crazy contemporary random one

39.Have you ever think someone died,when they really didn’t ?
YES:)alot of times

40.What is the reason behind your profile song ?
i dont have a specific song.im better.have playlist;

41.Who was the last person you saw in your dreams ?
haha:)i dont dream much:)yes.
oh unless you talk about this dream i had afew days ago when i dreamt of me working with a singer

42.Last time you smiled ?
few seconds ago when i saw treeza's funny answer for question 41

43.Have you ever changed this year ?
yes.i have learnt alot of things.i mean that not all people can be trusted,alot of stuff.

44.What are you listening to right now ?
hmm.light up the sky by yellowcard/

45.Are you talking to someone doing this ?
no.

46.Do you walk with your eyes open or closed ?
i can do both.

47.Is there any quote you live by ?
oh the line from WHAT ABOUT NOW by CHRIS daughtry
"what about now,what about today,what if you're making me all that i was meant to be"

48.Do you want someone you can’t have ?
YES:)

49.Have you ever played an instrument ?
piano, keyboards,drums,recorder,guitar(but not good)

50.What is the worst idea you have this week ?
hmm.when i wanted to strangle a guy that jan tan and i was talking about

51.What are you doing last night 11.00p.m ?
um.was bathing

52. Are you happy with your love life ?
haha.i dont even have one,my gosh

53.What song do your describe your love life ?
haha i dont have one.oh you mean the one that makes me feel in love?oh!BE MY ESCAPE!

54.Does the person know you like him/her ?
uh.no.i dont like anyone now,currently

55.Who always make you laugh ?
oh.lots of people.some are very selfexplanatory.they themselves are funny.

56.Do you speak other language other than English ?
chinesee!and oh n i tried jap.

57.Are you blonde ?
no. thank God.

58.What’s your full name ?
Amanda Carol Sng Zhi En-fudge Sparkle
(this is my OFFICIAL NAME loves!)
59.What are you doing tomorrow ?
going out with feli and chey at marina!

60.What do you think you are like ?
haha:)i think im not as uncomplicated as i seem

61.Who do you chose to die with ?
haha:)i dont really care.

62.Where have you been today ?
home home home

63.What do you play often ?
oh.truth or dare

64.Who are you missing right now ?
feli and chey,and the cat at the market.and ZING!!

65.If you’ve choosen between LOVE & FRIENDSHIP,who will you choose ?
woah!politics AH!!i dont know,seriously.i will decide later

66.What are you doing right now ?
eating and doing this quiz

67.Which primary school are you from ?
SACPS

68.Name 3 colours you like .
black,greyish-silver,white..

69.What emotion do you like to show ?
haha.randomness and the ACCIDENTAL-SOUNDAHOLIC one

70.What is life to you ?
hmm.something that you have to take ownership of and not blaming people for your predicament

71.If you have something troubling you,what will you do ?
i would blast music,cry it out,tell my close friends(feli chey you guys again)

72.Who did you last chat in msn ?
i cant remember

73.Who do you admire most ?
hmms.i admire alot of people.but if you talk about a musical inspiration it must have to be be be be.........I DONT KNOW.i mean i admire HOARDS of them.hopefully be like them in time to come

74.Which month are you born in ?

july,dummy

75.How are you feeling right now ?
wierd cuz i have math hw to do later!!

76.What is the time right now ?
13:42!!.

77.Where are you right now ?
on earth.at home.in my mum and dad's room

78.What colour did you use to dye your hair ?
haha.if i dye it next time,would have it in dark dark brown with streaks of whitish-yellow(not the LIAN kind)

79.Why are you doing this test ?
treeza gave me the honor and i am VERY VERY PATIENT

80.What you do when you are moody ?
i thought i just saw the question somewhere?

81.At which age you wish to get married ?
hmm.my ideal age would be 24/start young.yes

82.Who is more important to you ? Boyfriend/Friend ?
ME:)

83.Do you think you have enough confidence ?
yes sir

84.Who is the person you trust most ?
hmm.GOD.hahas:)cuz he isnt a backstabber and he isnt human

85.Do you believe in seeing rainbow after rain ?
uhs yes.i am kinda the hopeful sort

86.If you can have a dream come true, what would it be ?
to be either a singer/dj/producer/director///all the random dreams in the world

87.What is your goal for this year ?
hmm.get where i want to.when i want to
.88.Do you believe in eternity love ?
umm?i dont know.maybe?i mean i know that God's love is eternal

89.What feeling do you love most ?
oh.feeling me

90.Do you really think it’s global warming now ?
YES.

91.What is the feeling you hate most ?
feeling in despair and helpless

92.Do you cherish every single friend of yours ?
yes.if i even consider them a friend.

93.Do you believe in god ?
yes:)duhss

94.Who cares for you the most ?
God

95.What do you think are the most important things in your life ?
God,my dreams and aspirations,family,friends(that actually are close to me),music,my mp3 player

96.What will you bring when you fight
hmm.i dont know.i dont do weapons.i think i'd just bring myself

97.What have you regretted doing in your whole life ?
i cant remember

98.Who is the person who sent you the most messages in your inbox ?
hmm.i dont know

99.What if your stead two-timed you ?
kick him in the nuts

100. Someone you can’t live without?
never thought about that yet.but there are alot of SOMEONES:)

quiz that i got tagged to do:)
lols
but its fun!
the next 4 please do the quiz!

1)beth
2)ws
3)jan tan
4)candice

2008-06-06T20:51:00.000-07:00

GAHH on a yellowcard craze!!
haha;)they make great sounds yea:)but light up the sky is my fave:)
yea yea yea!
haha..sorry for first time visitors,if you hang around me long enough you'd know that crazes and random loves are normal
haha
and yellowcard in my opinion is SO NOT EMO
i dont like emo music
serious
i mean the whole eyeliner,skinnies,thing doesnt cut it for me luh
i guess its just a personal opinion
and i guess a little opinion is A-Okay right?

2008-06-06T20:49:00.000-07:00

light up the sky/yellow card

yellowcard is the new love!

yea:)

let me light up the sky,light it up for you,let me tell you why,i would die for you- -

2008-06-06T20:47:00.000-07:00

What Sun Zhi En Amanda Carol

Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience.

You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.

But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.

You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.

You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.

You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.

People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.

You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.

At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

its damn scarily accurate

my gosh

seriously you guys must go try this! at

www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaning

yea:)cheers!

2008-06-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

what more can i say

thats the girl i wish to be

a person that makes the city lights shine just because she can

a girl that light up the darkest corners of a heart just by a smile

there she goes,again

2008-06-06T19:29:00.000-07:00

haha:)this is cute cute cute

i saw it on a cap

was dying to buy it

and cant find it already!!

gahs

anyway

yesterday was also nothing much

studying at home then went for prayer meeting and then cell group

found out camp groupings

and im not with my other e369 members!!!

im with boonteck's group and the n410 girls

sads._. but i guess it would be good to get to know all of them better and make new friends:)

yea!hehes

okay

please pray for me yea:)for my nose!!

you can ask my cg ppl

they saw me using up alot of tissues yesterday

very funny la

okay

cy!

2008-06-05T21:07:00.000-07:00

I KNOW I AM OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE

yesterday was okay i guess

was really busyy!

studying..yea and please whisper a prayer for me yea

down with some flu and really bad throat

went to marine parade library,pasta mania with ws,beth,kimbo

went to do our math prob solving project

loads of fun!

they were eating the holy oreo mud pie and i could only drool cuz i promised mum i would take care of my throat!

hahas:)pasta mania was fun too!

we played truth or dare,i never did and another one i couldnt remember

for truth or dare i got saboed to eat a wierd concoction of cheese(EWW),salt,pepper

grossest thing ever,swear to god

serious

i mean the cheese was so so so nauseating

haha:)

busy honeybee i am

just my life

crazy,random but alot of fun

im going to go for hotel stay!yay-ness!

20th of June(fri) to 21st June (sat night)

cant wait to go shop,eat,sleep

yea!

haha:)

this hols has been kinda not what i planned

i mean i wanted to go watch HOARDS of films and SHOP LIKE A NUT

but i didnt really get to do that

hopefully i can do that in the remaining days i have left of the hols

hahas

i want to go start a youtube acc to go experiment diff music covers and stuff:)i think you know what im thinking

2008-06-04T03:18:00.000-07:00

#1 if your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
- hurt and bruised

#2 if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
-to sing for the rest of my life and be performing on a stage be it sing,act,but more relistically,i want to be in the entertainment industry

#3 what will your dream wedding be like?
- hmm..something really romantic,but not traditional,with a spankingly hot husband and friggingly gorgeous church and a daredevil honeymoon

#4 are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
- confused,no.concerned,yes

#5 what's your ideal lover like?
- cute,funny,not a paranoid mess,spiritual,my bestfestest friend,a person who is wlling to sacrifice,sweet,loving,someone with an eye for detail/
#6 which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
- both.isnt that what love is?

#7 how long do you intend to wait for someone u really love?
-hard to say yea

#8 if the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
- forget it and move on!!

#9 is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
- not getting what i want n when i dont do my best
#10 is being tagged fun?
- i guess it is!
#11 how do you see yourself in ten years time?
- 24 years old,freelancing in the entertainment industry somewhat cross between a performer/dj/somewhere there.

#12 who are currently the most important people to you?
- God,my friends,my BFFS(GOD YES!!)my leaders

#13 what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
- friendly girl that doesnt give up...

#14 would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
- duh single and rich!
#15 what's the first thing you do every morning?
- moan at my alarm clock and snooze it

#16 would you give all in a relationship?
- yes,when i am ready
#17 if you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
- the person that has the same feelings for me
#18 what type of friends do you like?
- people i can share my heart with,without needing to feel embarassed about what i share,those who are real,those that appreciate each other

#19 what type of friends do you dislike?
- friends that take me for granted
#20 how many people you think they fall in love with you now?
- wahaha!i dont know man

tagged by : Candice

the following FIVE, do this quiz too! :P
- cheyenne
- karen
- paige
- weiszee
- lauray?

2008-06-04T03:11:00.000-07:00

colored sneakers

as the colors that paint my heart

am i really so complicated to people around me?

i dont know,really

i know some people think different from all i think that makes up me

really, i used to think i was kinda screwed some how

but know i cant care less

even if you would think im one

2008-06-04T02:33:00.001-07:00

i want to soak up the sun

yesterday went to rebond my hair
yea cuz alot of stuff was coming up so you know
it was kinda necessary
spent close to 6 hrs in the salon
sad
haha
anyway
will post a pic of me with my NEW hair(yea right) soon
so yea cyas!

2008-06-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

All my life I had been looking for something

and everywhere i turned someone tried to tell me what it was.

I accepted their answers too

though they were often in contradiction and self-contradictory

i was naive

I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions

which I and only I, could answer

It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations

to achieve a realisation everyone else appears to have been born with:

i am nobody else but myself

-Ralph Ellison

2008-06-02T07:39:00.000-07:00

yay!

take a bow by rihanna

i dont really like her personally

but the song is great

at least if it remains un-overplayed

yea:))

2008-06-02T07:23:00.000-07:00

today went to school for drama workshop with mrs crothers(do i spell it like this?)
well it was great!
mrs crothers isnt so scary lah
she's really funny and all.so you get the idea:)
im director of my piece
sara is A. Director.Lauray is Scriptwriter,There-sa is A.Scriptwriter,Raihan is production manager,lixin is stage manager
aft DEP workshop, me,paige,there-sa,ange and karen went to icecreamchefs to eat!!
woots!
i ate the mrs smith's apple icecream(which was LOVE) with loaker
will get the pic from karen soon
i v bodo
i took the pic
then deleted
then didnt bluetooth from karen!
grrs!
tmr is an early day again
grrs
tmr going to do my hair:)
yay-nesss:))

2008-06-02T07:13:00.000-07:00

CLICK FIVE CONCERT WAS THE BOMB BABY

they hit it home

though they are like NOBODYS in US

( the Land of the FAMOUS)

they really impressed me with their showmanship

they were really really tired

but they played their heart out

especially the drummer,Joey.

me,weisze and lauray were queuing tog

it was really fun with them

cuz 1st i(the smart eleck)cheated the security system

i managed to sneak lauray in from the back of the queue into the on infront with ws and me

cuz in the stadium the rule is that you cant bring friends to the front

the security guards love me alot

i guess

they just love my face or something

cant help but notice me

haha

okay

i shall stop egoing

what happened is

i kept going up and down to get stuff

so everytime i pass the guards they'd be like"YOU AGAIN"

haha

anyway!

lauray,ws and i were standing infront

and lauray and i were infront of the speakers

i was like telling her that i was scared i was going to go deaf

haha

it was fun

cuz behind us

the girls kept pushing and pushing

wa lao

and one kept slamming her knuckles at my butt and kept touching my middrift

so you get the pic

the stadium yesterday=mostly kyle-crazy girls

the guys there didnt look that they were having fun

and i couldnt really spot any guys

seriously man

haha:)

to lauray:should have gotten a pic with the sound crew guy with floppy hair that looks like youu

zomg baby

he was behind the speakersssss!!

gahh!

and to lauray again,thanks for the pics

i grabbed them from your bloggg1

2008-06-02T07:12:00.001-07:00

here this!

swear to God he's like the best sia

how do you play KISS KISS by CHRIS BROWn AND T PAIN ON PIANO??

he rocked it

like totally!

2008-05-31T21:31:00.000-07:00

this is so so awesome

its david sides playing When You Look Me In The Eye on the piano

i think i have fallen in love with the piano again

2008-05-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

tiantian<33 href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_g1S7flP30H0/SEIQcSUnuXI/AAAAAAAAAjA/d2GNYIjihu0/s1600-h/Image041.jpg"> me with the ROOM CARD!
me meijuan and tomo(my angel in angel mortal-game)
Tian n Mimi is LOVE
me nerissa,ashton and nicholas(notice we all have braces)

Louise and me
the sky in NACLI
our rooms

random shot that mimi took of me

HEY GUYS
finally back from camp
yea
i saw your tag cher..
yea i guess my words are getting alitle scary
so sorry if you guys still think im a little thing
whatevs
hehs:)
RHYA camp was FAB
like totally!
the rooms were like HOTEL.
with HOT SHOWERS and AIRCON and BEDS
on the first 2 days i wanted to go home
i wasnt HOME SICK but i didnt really enjoy myself
but it was great
made alot of friends
and yes,that includes st pats
i told paige my experiences with st pats and she was very funny
she gave me the im-trying-to-be-nice-and-interested-but-im-skeptical look
hah:))
here are some pics for you guys!
and yea enjoy
i miss all of them
all the laughs and all the joys
dear girls,i tell you
this was a really great camp
alot of firsts
1)1st time i hugged boys
2)1st time i got kissed by a girl(on the cheek)
3)first time i managed to talk without stopping for like 4days
4)first time i enjoyed camp TOTALLY
5)first time i cried during camp when it ended(alot were crying,including guys)

it was really funny cuz i asked one of the guys"how come you didnt cry!!!"
then he said thi"when i wanted to cry,i stepped on paper then i started laughing..you tell me how you cry?"
haha
wa lao
i went to yueze's cg that day cuz i ended late

and was DEAD BEAT

so you get the picture?

i met jan and mayling

then i told jan about the hugging thing

and then she was like"is your heart somewhere or still in america(david cook)"

haha

so you get the picture

i guess im pretty open with hugging people(both gender)

i dont know:)

lets see

2008-05-25T04:22:00.000-07:00

this will be my last post for now

cuz im going to be at camp the whole of next week

coming back from camp only on friday!

click five is seven days away!

cant wait to have a great time

though you cant mosh or head bang to their music

cuz people will come to the conclusion that you are presumably wierd

so yea:)

here it is

and here am i once again

oh Goddd help meeeee!

2008-05-25T04:21:00.000-07:00

the guitar hero ad

with cook and archie

lol to me it was lame

but for dc's one it wasnt too jarring cuz he was actually singing the song

and not mimicking it

i thought they loooked very very unflattering in it

take note,i said THEY

including cook himself

2008-05-25T03:42:00.000-07:00

i feel that im going through a transmisive stage right now

when i have to make quite alot of adjustments

not just in time schedule,but atmosphere and culture

haha

those of you guys that know me very well(my sch friends)would know i dont really like roudy places or ABIT loud conditions

yea

i have to make quite alot of changes

about the way i react

yesterday was in the train aft service

sitting with jan tan,jan soo and they witnessed me freaking out

as in big time

wanted to scream luh

i dont know

if its just me but im still trying to see

whats up

with the world

or whats up with me

met with chloe's cg ppl

yea

they are really real

and not the kind of people that would deny themselves

i dont know

but i think i seem very awkward/like a misfit among them now

trying to think of things to say

to be myself

yea

i dont know really

how im doing

but they are quite fun to talk to

and chloe is really nice:)

was chatting with her in the train yesterday

like shooting alot of questions at her

about how she reaches out,etc

you can ask jan tan and jan soo

very funny luh

:)i really have alot alot alot to learn!

i was amazed at her love capacity for the people

though she says its hard

and all the things and ideas she has

i really want to get to know her better,call her more

learn more

yesterday

i was coming back from jw

to my grandma's place

when i was walking over

i saw this cute bnd and he was hugging a kitten

when i walked past

i gave him a cute smile and stared at his cat

and smiled again

and guess what?

he smiled back at me:)

when i turned back to look at him again

he was looking at me

smiling,softly

oh god im not a flirt

but i have a soft spot for guys who are softies for animals and stuff

like they have the whole i-love-animals thing going on

yea

yesterday was my first service at jw!

pst tan wanted to lay hands on us

but in the end he didnt

yea

i responded to the call,went forward

and really sensed the presence of God

just began to tear

as i saw all the other young people

with hands raised,voices lifted

and tears streaming down their face,like i was

i know i have alot of things to change

alot of things to learn

alot of habits to break

but all i want to say is that,i am willing.

2008-05-22T00:55:00.000-07:00

yay!
DAVID COOK WON!
zomg
love it!!
gahh
hyperventilating!
hahaha
hahaha
okay
here is the vid!
he's so cute la
hee
as in NOT good looking cute.just that part when he started crying
haha

some ppl pissed that he won
but i dont give a damn about them la
Im just too happy for cook
aft the anxiety last night
when both of them screwed up
and david c did worst than arch
so i was like wtf?
so when he won i was really happy
cuz he deserves it la
the past few weeks since the auditions,he has been awesome ALL the time
just go check out simon's comments on all his performances and you'll know
haha
i know that my classmates want to kill me
like den,weisze,paige..
cuz they like arch..like ALOT
but cook is the real deal la!
haha
lovee it

2008-05-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

I am SO NOT a JONAS BROTHERS' fan
wa lao
cant stand all the girls who want to be "Mrs Jonas"
grr
gets annoying i tell you
but their song when you look me in the eye is really good
i heard SOS and its terrible
im so sorry
i used to find them to sugary(now i still think they are too popish)
but this song is nice
and and the videos is awesome
watch this!

2008-05-21T18:19:00.000-07:00

heya
i love this song that david cook sang
to tell you the truth,they both kinda screwed the finals
and whoever wins
it doesnt really matter
BUT still i want david cook to win!
yea:)

so dream big:)
here it is

eh no
this is tongue tied by faber drive!!
they are really good too!
and here is david cook's dream big

2008-05-21T04:38:00.001-07:00

i was just thinking today

what do i really want

where do i really want to be

i really wonder

where and what could be

i just want to count the stars

and sit beneath its shadow

ooh!we got in for drama of history!

woots!

im a costume manager cum actor:)

love it

2008-05-21T04:21:00.000-07:00

heya guys

here are the pictures that i promised!

at 98.7 with rozz

and managed to get a pic with Shan too:)

enjoy!

2008-05-21T00:02:00.000-07:00

hey guys
havent been blogging in some time
gahss
this hols is going to be really really busy
now at KAREN's house:)
haha..
tonights the top 2 finale!
DAVID COOK YOU MUST WIN THIS
for ME AT LEAST
haha

AMANDA FUDGE SPARKLE
how do you like my new name
love the FUDGE man
haha

DAVID COOK IS HOT FUDGE
and ME TOO
haha
EXTRAA
hee

2008-05-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

hey guys
do keep me in prayer
going for a test now
bb!

2008-05-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a blast with rozz
serious!
took some pics with her too!
and one with shan!
im really excited
something might be in the process:)
thats gonna be so so so cool
but aft all the fun
it wasnt so cool at home
dad and mum began on and on about me spending too much time in chc and with cg
then they said that they dont want me to keep on going
i was like"??"
i dont know
i mean so much pressure and force has been applied on me again and again
i just wish that i could put them on silent mode
serious
im just so sick
cried the whole of last night
didnt have the mood to talk to adora or shalynne(so sorry guys for super static voice and replies. i dont want to tell you guys about this anw)
i really dont know whats going on with me
first everything's good
and now
good things happen occasionally
its not that i dont want to put God first
but everytime i bring up cg i always think of all the things my parents said to me
that made me so upset
i mean what do you mean when you say dont strees,when you are the one that keeps on going at it>
just tired
very tired
i will post the pics tmr
no mood today
ga
i guess i will just rush for cg
but i really dont know
its getting really messy
for me

2008-05-14T19:23:00.001-07:00

yea

david cook singing Dare You To Move

i think switchfoot is the shit

they are the bestfestestest!

yea!

2008-05-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

go david cook

you have my LOVE

like you want it..but if you do,here it is:)

2008-05-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

every girl just wants to be beautiful

to love and to be loved

to feel good about themselves

to just feel graceful

to whatever,whenever